吉姆《喷子滚粗（2016）》第二季第六集完整中英文对照剧本

真精彩

Well,that was just great.

真是个有趣的视频

What a great and fun video.

你是真喜欢

Did you actually like it,

还是因为她给了你一个肾才这样说or are you just sayingthat because she gave you a kidney?我自己也不知道了

I don't even know anymore.

16.2万播放量

162,000 views?

我只看过四次剩下应该全是吉姆看的

I only watched it four times,so the rest of those must be Jim.你们好抱歉打扰你们开睡眠派对

Hello.Sorry to interrupt your slumber party,

我是来告诉你们我有急事but I'm just here to tell you that I'm having an emergency要用一下厕所会把里面弄得很乱and I will be in the bathroom,making a huge mess in there在里面待很长时间所以大家都别进去and be in there for a long time, so nobody come in there.在厕所里不会发生任何可疑行为

There's no suspicious activity going on in the bathroom.祝好

Good day.

我去准备火柴去异味

I should probably get the matches.

贝瑟妮

Bethany!

天哪真够快的

Oh,gosh,that was quick.

给吉姆我拿来了. . .

Here, Jim, I have the. . .Oh!Oh!

夫人你好

Hello,milady.

欢迎来到我们的第一次约会

And welcome to our first date.

我的天哪

Oh.Oh,my. . .Oh,my goodness.

那是我的浴袍吗

Is that my robe?

我不知道

I don'tknow.

-是吗-是

- Is it?-Yes.

-贝瑟妮把门关上-好好抱歉

-Bethany, just close the door. -Oh,okay,okay.Sorry.我已经预约了两人桌位

I've reserved us a table for

在"浴缸餐厅"two at Le Tub.

好漂亮

Aw, it's beautiful.

但是却比不上

But not as beautiful as

你的脸和头发和眼睛和鼻子your face and your hair and your eyes and nose

还有嘴和眉毛and mouth and eyebrows,

还有这里那里以及下面and this part and that part and down there.

还有你对家人的付出贝瑟妮

And dedication to your family,Bethany.

你对我的夸奖好具体哦

Thatwas such a specific compliment.

你喜欢坐在水龙头这边还是霉点那边

Would you like to sit against the spigot or the mildew stain?我选霉点吧

I would like mildew stain.

该死的好吧夫人你请

Dang it!Okay.Yes,milady.

真好陶瓷材质

Yes.Porcelain.

还有点黏

Ah, it's a little sticky.

我们的初次约会气氛真好

What a wonderful first date we're having.

太美妙了

Magical.

这样安全吗

Is this safe?

不安全

It's not safe.

-非常危险-好吧

- It's very dangerous. -Oh.Okay.

-天哪吓我一跳-吓我一跳

-Oh,my goodness,that scared me! -That scared me!这真是史上最好笑的事

That's the funniest thing to ever happen ever!-我都忘了-好

- I forgot.Oh! -Okay.

硬鸡鸡[发音类似"祝胃口好

Boner petite.

什么意思

Excuse me?

是迷你热狗的法语

It's French for little hot dog.

谢谢

Thank you.

-不对不对-不对吗

-No,no,no. -No?

要用法式吃法

Like they do in France.

过来

Come here.

好的

Oh,okay.

里面是有什么烧了吗

Hey, is there something burning in here?

天哪你们在干什么

Oh,my God!What are you doing?

我跟你妈相爱了

I'm in love with your mother!

吉姆

Jim!

黑子滚开

第二季第六集

女士

Oh,ma'am.

请问您是否有兴趣买♥♥一个

Can I interestyou in an old chicken bone

棉签插着的鸡骨头

with a cotton swab stuck to it?

不要吗

No?

只要三百块哦

Only$300.

守财奴

Cheapskate.

不好意思先生我在跟男朋友打电♥话♥Oh,excuse me,sir. I'm on the phone with my boyfriend.请稍等一下

So I'll just be a minute.

亲爱的宝贝

Oh,my sweet baby.

你真是世界上

You're the best boyfriend

最好的男朋友乔伊·格雷斯法尼斯法卡in the whole world, Joey Graceffanisfca.

你性感火♥辣♥魅力爆表

You're so sexy and amazing

英俊潇洒还那么幽默and handsome and funny.

他刚给我讲了个特别好笑的笑话

He just told me a really funny joke.

说你的

It's aboutyou.

行了我先挂了

Well,anyways, I gotta go.

有个烦人的顾客一直在看我

There's a really annoying customer watching me right now.特别变♥态♥

Super-creepy so. ..

不你先挂你先挂不你先. . .

No,you hangup.No,you hang up.No,you--

我和朋友萨莉要去游泳池

My friend Sally and I are going to the pool.

要一起吗

Wanna come?

我刚在跟男朋友打电♥话♥

I was just on the phone with my boyfriend.

还有我的好朋友萨莉有什么事吗

And my best friend,Sally.So can I help you?

你是想买♥♥什么吗

Did you wantto buy something?

不我是来找吉姆叔叔的. . .

No, I'm actually just here to talk to Mr.Uncle Jim so. . .

不好意思顾客不允许进屋谢谢

Okay,no customers allowed inside the house,please.Thankyou.再说了吉姆叔叔刚才说要上大号♥

Besides,UncleJimjust announced his morningpoo,

估计很久之后才会有空so he'll be very busy for a while.

要我转达吗

Can I take a message?

好

Yeah.

我想告诉他

I wanted to tell him that I am

我打算辞去巡演经理人stepping down from my position

这份工作asyour roadie.

那正好反正我们也打算解雇你

Well,that's great, 'cause we were gonna fire you anyway.这事解决得很好不是吗

So that worked out nicely,didn't it?

那好

Okay.

等一下

Wait!

我需要你帮我搭建主题公园

I need your help to build my theme park.

祝你好运米兰达

Good luck,Miranda.

神经病

P sych!

我才不需要你

I don'tneedyou!

没你我照样建成主题公园

I can build a theme park withoutyou!

而且会比你建的好看得多

It'll be even better than anythingyou could do!

等着瞧吧

You'll see!

我们去做指甲再聊聊爱慕的人

Let's do our nails and talk about our crushes.

生活是美好的

Life is good.

有时候当一个妈妈跟一个叔叔

Sometimes when a mom and an uncle,

共享一张床时他们可以. . .you know,they share a tiny bed together,they can,um. . .他们会产生感情

They develop feelings.

深入到他们的腹股沟

Deep down in their groins.

不"腰"吉姆是"腰"

No, "Loins," Jim. "Loins."

"腰"对我刚说成"腹股沟"了

Oh, "Loins,"Right. I said"Groins,"

但我本来要说我们的腰. . .but I meantto be tellingyou about our loins--

能别说了吗

Please stop talking.

我就是想告诉你你可以先不喊我爸爸

I justwantyou to know,you don't have to call me Daddy yet.你可以叫上几个礼拜的爹地叔叔

You can call me Uncle Daddy for a few weeks.

我就叫你我的乖女侄女

And I'll call you my niece-daughter.

天

Oh,my God.

我知道我无法阻止你们

Look, I know I can't stop you guys from doingthis.

但. . .

But. . .

你们不能被米兰达发现you cannot let Miranda find out.

她会让你们生不如死

She'll make our lives miserable.

更生不如死

More miserable.

艾米丽是对的好

Emily is right.All right,all right.

我们现在要做的就是

The most responsible thingto do

继续担惊受怕is just continue to live in fear

米兰达对我们所做决定的看法of what Miranda thinks of our decisions.

那该怎么做

So what do we do?

老老实实的

Just keep quiet.

无论发生什么表现自然点

No matter what happens,act natural.

吉姆叔叔妈

UncleJim!Mom!

我们得现在就建主题公园

We need to build the theme park right now!

天呐这个主意也太好了吧

Oh!That sounds like a great idea!

大伙说是不是啊

Doesn't it,everyone?

房♥间里的所有人

Everyone inthe room?

那我开始准备游乐设施

Great! I'll get started on the rides.

好险

God!

你干嘛艾米丽能不能表现自然点

What was that,Emily?You didn't even try to act natural!就你露馅了

You ruined it!

真是个蹩脚的演员

You're a terrible actress!

目标

过凵车

差不多完成了

Okay,almost done.

轮廓画好了

Okay.Got the shape.

加上我的嘴眼睛头发

Put on my lips,eyeballs,hair.

完美

Perfect.

吉姆叔叔像我不

UncleJim,does itlooklike me?

-说你俩呢-你说什么

-Hello?-What?

-在呢-我在

-Hey,hello.Yes. -Yes.

哪个是我哪个是硬纸板剪贴图

Which one's me,which one's the cardboard cutout?

那个怪物是你

-Um. . . -Oh,uh,the monster is you.

不对我是我你猜错啦

No, I'mme.Gotya!

接下来干嘛

What's next?

想起来了碰碰车

Oh, I know.Bumper cars.

她盯上我们了

She's onto us.

我们得转移阵地了

We gotta go somewhere else.

-跟着我-好

-Follow my lead. -Okay.Okay.

贝瑟妮因为一些原因我得去个地方

Bethany,uh, I need to go someplace else for reasons.

-你愿意帮助我吗-乐意至极

-Willyouhelp me?-Of course I will.

-起身站起来走-起立

-Up,up,out. -Up,okay.

我来试试

Okay.All right, let's test it out.

亲爱的我回来了

Honey, I'm home!

爸爸

Dad!

-见到你太好了-等等等等

-So good to seeyou. -Whoa,whoa,whoa,whoa,whoa,whoa,whoa.记得我以前怎么跟你说的吗

You remember what I used to tell you.

-"不要紧抱悬空抱" -紧抱

-"Don't smother,hover." -". . .smother,

悬空抱就像这样hover."Yes, like this.

这就对了多好

Okay.There you go.See?

期待总是胜过爱慕

Anticipation is always better than affection.我爱你

I loveyou.

而我是你的父亲

And I'm your dad.

我觉得可以了闭上眼睛

Okay, I think that's enough. Just close your eyes.-好的-就这样

-Yes. -There you go.

感觉真好

This is nice.

真的很棒你很好闻

It's really nice.You smell great.

像发霉的空气

Like musty air.

我想亲你

I wanna kiss you.

我也想亲你

I wanna kiss you.

-来吧-好

-Okay. -Okay.

酒放哪儿了

Where is the wine?

-凯利吗-凯利

-Kelly?-Kelly!

凯利真的是你

Kelly! It is you!

过来来一个兄弟抱抱

Get over here!Brother hug!

吉姆别弄皱我夹克

Hey, Jim,don't wrinkle the jacket.

这是从意大利进口的秘鲁羊毛

It's Peruvian wool from Italy.

那好那来个兄弟间的握手吧

Okay.Well,brother handshake.

其实不用了