米兰达《喷子滚粗（2016）》第二季第二集完整中英文对照剧本

看不透看不透他看不透我的扑克脸

Can't read my,can't read my No,he can't read my poker face没有人像她那样如此吸引我

She's got me like nobody

看不透看不透他看不透我的扑克脸

Can't read my,can't read my No,he can't read my poker face天啊

Oh,my God.

帕特里克快看

P atrick!Lo ok.

我知道她播放量长得惊人

Oh,yeah, I know.Her views are skyrocketing.

更重要的是你看她的订阅者

More importantly, if you look at her subscriber--

不帕特里克睁开你的眼

No,Patrick!Open your eyes!

我说的是这个广♥告♥

I'm talking about this advertisement.

西班牙香肠

巡演经理人纸拿来

Roadie,paper.

我要制♥作♥成名五部曲计划

I have a Five Phase Plan to make.

我是贝瑟妮请留言现在我该

You've reached Bethany.Leave a message.Now,what do I--米兰达进来

Miranda,get in here!

等下马上就来

Holdyourhorsies! I'm coming!

你该接电♥话♥的

You should've picked up.

黑子滚开

第二季第二集

你终于来了看

Thereyou are!Look.

那是什么

Wait,what the heck is that?

怎么有个墨西哥卷饼盖住了我膝盖

Why is there a taco covering my knees?

那是我最好看的部位

That's the best part!

帕特里克做点什么砸烂电脑

Patrick,do something!Break the computer!

不要等等

No,no!Wait,wait,wait!

我知道我们为什么没去纽约了

Listen, I know why we didn't get to New York.

因为你太重

Because you weigh too much.

-不是行李箱本身重20磅-好吧

-No.The suitcase adds 20 pounds. -Okay.

是因为我们没有计划

No, it's becausewe didn'thave a plan.

这个广♥告♥将帮助我们开启成为传奇的This advertisement will launch us into my new Five Phase Plan新五部曲计划for Becoming a Legend.

看

Voila.

新五部曲计划之传奇人物

1广♥告♥

2推销

3主题公园

4收买♥♥银行

5百老汇

不错哦

Ooh,very nice.

首先我们要收这条广♥告♥的钱

First,we get paid for this advertisement.

然后拿着这笔钱去制♥作♥商品

Then we take that money and we make merchandise,

卖♥♥更多的钱which we then sell for more money.

然后拿着那笔钱建造一个米兰达主题公园

Then we take that money and we build a Miranda theme park.-然后买♥♥下一家银行-嗯

-Then we buy a bank. -Well,yeah.

从银行里拿钱

Then we get the money from

坐头等舱去百老汇inside the bank and fly first class to Broadway.

你就成传奇了

Bam!You're a legend!

帕特里克你坐商务舱

And,Patrick,you're flying coach.

我愿意

I'm willing to do that.

我好激动

I'm so excited!

要不了多久我们就会到纽约了

Beforeyou know it,we'll be in New York City.

-大快活[新奥尔良] -浮华城[好莱坞]

-Oh,The Big Easy. -Tinsel Town.

-风城[芝加哥] -不一而足

-The Windy City. -You know it.

-花♥园♥州[新泽西] -是的

-The Garden State. -Yes.

星空之城

The City of Stars.

大苹果[纽约]

Big Apple.

这名字已经过时了帕特里克

They don't call it that anymore,Patrick.

我们要多久能拿到钱

So,how longtill we get money?

我们只需要去本地的墨西哥卷饼店

All we have to do is go to our local Taco Ta-go

索取我们应得的就行and claim what's rightfully ours.

你疯了吗我不能去公共场所

Are you insane?I can't go out in public!

你看到我在机场的遭遇了被粉丝打劫

You saw what happened to me at that airport. I got mobbed by a fan!你说的是你留下来我们去这样更安全

You're right. It's safer if you stay here and we go.

不行行行你执意的话我去就是了

No.Fine,fine,fine, if you insist. I guess I have to go.

但我必须隐姓埋名

But I'll need to be incognito.

低调点

Just keep a low profile.

快啊我们走

Come on.Let's go.

-该死-怎么了

-Dang it! -What?

卡车没法驶离车道

The van can't leave the driveway.

我在里面住的时候

I welded a huge septic tank

在下面焊接了一个巨大的粪坑to the bottom of it when I was living in there.

吆姆叔叔

UncleJim!

别再到处装马桶了

Stop installing toilets in things!

严重影响我去百老汇的计划

It's ruining my plans for Broadway.

我得拉屎拉尿啊

I need to go!

等等

Wait.

帕特里克你得骑车送我们去墨西哥卷饼店

Patrick!You're pedaling us to Taco Ta-go!

那可有五英里啊

That's five miles.

三个人我应该骑不了那么远

I don't think I can go five miles with three passengers.-我坐副驾-我坐最后[货车末尾车厢]

-Shotgun! - I call the caboose.

我到了

I have arrived!

别拍照别拍照女士们先生们

No pictures.No pictures,please, ladies and gentlemen.我很忙累得不行

I am a very busy lady. I'm exhausted, so. ..

你好啊

Oh,hi!

-你-正是我米兰达

-Are you. . . -Yes, it's me!Miranda.

准备好点餐了吗

. . .ready to order?

-他好紧张真可爱-可爱

-He's nervous.That's so cute. - It's cute.

第一次见名人

First time with a celebity,so. ..

别担心我和你一样

Don'tworry, I'mjusta

是个普通人不过比你优秀regular person just like you.Except better.

我们来此索取你欠我客户的钱

We are here to collectthe money thatyou owe my client.什么

U h,what?

我想我知道问题所在了他没认出我

Okay, I think I know the problem.He doesn't recognize me,so. . .准备好被闪瞎

Okay.Get ready to have your mind blown.

是我

It's me.

-是她真的是她-米兰达·辛斯

- It's her. It is her. -Miranda Sings.

来自YouTube大名人造访你的小店

FromYouTube.The famous celebity here inyour store.我不认识你

I don'tknowwho you are.

什么

What?

骗子你们在她的视频上放广♥告♥

Liar!You putyour ad on one of herYouTubevideos.

是的你得套我们钱

Yes,and we want to be condomsated for it.

-给钱-是的套钱

-Compensated. -Yes.Condomsated.

-嗯你得套我们钱-套钱

-Right.We want to be condomsated right- - -Condomsated.现在你得套我们钱

Right now,we want to be condomsated.

对这里谁是管事的

Yeah.Who's in charge here?

那是你♥爸♥吗过来先生

Is thatyour daddy?Get over here, sir!

-不好意思有什么问题吗-是的

-Excuse me,hi. Is there a problem?-Yes,actually.

你该给我们

You need to pay us however

打一支墨西哥卷饼广♥告♥much a person should be compensated for

-应该给的钱-没错至少20对吧

-for doing a taco commercial. -Yes.That's at least$20,right?至少20或者深油煎面卷饼

At least$20,or the chimichanga burrito,

油炸玉米煎饼以及the fried burrito and. . .

-美式卷饼-美式卷饼

-Maybe,uh. . .The gringo tacos. -The gringo tacos.

鸡肉

Chicken.

先生我得请你们离开

Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you folks to leave.

什么你不能这么待我

What?You can't treat me that way.

我是名人我是这家公♥司♥的代言人

I'm a celebity,and I am the face of this company!

不他才是这家公♥司♥的代言人

No,he's the face of this company.

-那个弱智卷饼-现在

-That stupid taco?-Now. . .

请离开我的餐厅would you get out of my restaurant?

恭喜了先生

Well,congratulations,sir.

你刚犯下了你人生中最大的错误

Because you just made the biggest mistake of your life.是的

Yeah.

-口渴水-我们要走了帕特里克

-Thirsty,water. . . -No!We're leaving now,Patrick!

好

Okay.

有粉丝你好

Oh,a fan!Hi!

那声喇叭是为我按的

Oh,uh,that honk was for me,so. ..

卷饼

Taco!

给我别再偷我的喇叭声了

Give me that!Stop stealing my honks!

出发帕特里克

Go,P atrick!

艾米丽求你回家

Emily,please come home.

妈我喜欢这里

Mom, I like ithere.

真的吗

Seriously?

我知道爸有他的怪癖但他也有优点的

I know Dad has his quirks,but he's not all bad.

他愿意倾听我支持我喜欢我的画

He listens to me.He's supportive.He likes my paintings.艾米丽他可是撒谎老手了

Oh,Emily.He has a history of lying.

谢谢

Thank you.

你根本不知道我为了来这经历了什么

You have no idea what I've been through to get here.

我没看耶稣受难和耶稣一起吃三明治

I. . . I skipped the crucifixion, I ate a sandwich with Jesus,然后尝试了果馅饼and then I tried flan.

你在说些什么

What are you talking about?

我意识到我是你妈妈

I came to a realization. I am your mother.

-你现在才反应过来-照顾你是我的职责

-You're just now getting that?- It's my job to take care of you.所以你得回家我才能照顾你

So you need to come home so I can do that.

我在那里受尽折磨

I was miserable there.

是因为气味吗我可以点香薰蜡烛

Was itthe smell?Because I could light candles.

妈是米兰达

Mom, it's Miranda.

不我觉得那味道是吆姆的

No, I think the smell is coming from Jim.

不我受尽折磨是因为米兰达

No, I was miserable because of Miranda.

她对我们那么差你却不阻止她

She justwalks all over us and you don't even try to stop her.这不是真的我有和米兰达对峙

Well,no.That's not true. I. . . I stood up to Miranda.

-是吗发生了是吗-是的

-Really?What happened?-Yes!

她当时很刻薄我说

Well,she was being mean and then I said,

"好"然后我就跑开了

"Hey,fine,"And then I ran away.

妈我要留在这

Yeah,Mom, I'm gonna stay here.

艾米丽你♥爸♥让你失望

Emily, it is just a matter

只是时间问题of time before your father lets you down.

他不是好人

He'snotagoodman.

我做了松饼

I made muffins!

看到没

See?

全名工敌--卷饼

吆姆叔叔闻闻这个味道好棒

Uncle Jim,you have to smell this. It's amazing.

皇室的味道

Smells like purple.

本次抗♥议♥会让我们上新闻

So this protest is gonna get us on the news.

没有任何卷饼连锁店想要这样的负面新闻

And no taco chain wants that kind of bad press,

所以他们会给我们钱so they will have to pay us.

然后我们就可以开始第二阶段了

And then,bam! It's on to phase two.

棒帕特里克你弄完了没

Perfect.Patrick,are you almost done?

嗯刚搞定

Uh,yeah, just finished.

-那是谁-是你啊

-Who's that supposed to be?- It's you.

-是我-跟你完全不像

- It's me. -Thatlooks nothinglike you.

不这是米兰达

No. It's,um. . . It's Miranda.

这怎么会是我

That's supposed to be me?

画得真好

Oh,uh, looks really good.

要不然我还是重新画好了

Maybe I should just start over. I'm. . .

不别重画了也别再做更多标语了

No,do not start over.Please don't make any more signs.你可以帮我做这个巡演经理过来

Actually,you can help me with this.Roadie,get on over here.好的我来把这个穿上

All right. I'm just gonna put this on.

好了

Okay.

你能帮我把拉链拉起来吗

Canyou zip up my slit?

当然

Uh,sure.

看起来如何

How doesitlook?

完美

It's perfect.

舔我的卷饼

没错这幅画也是我的最爱之一

Ah,yes.That's one of my favorites,too.

你想喝点白葡萄酒吗

Can I offeryou some Pinot

产自圣伊内斯山脉from the rollinghills of

带着一丝橡木和潮湿石头的气息

Santa Ynez with a hint of oak and wet stones?

-我不喝酒-你确定吗这酒很贵

- I don't drink. -Are you sure?It's very expensive.

好吧我需要给这酒降降温

Well, I needto letthis one cool down.

在车尾厢里放了一天

The bottle's been in my trunk all day.