乔治Funny People《滑稽人物（2009）》完整中英文对照剧本

打电♥话♥给美国运通公♥司♥说你的卡丢了Let's call American Express.you lostyour card,

而且你忘记了卡♥号♥♥

And you don't know what the number of it is.

这为意不错

That's a great one.

假装是老太太

Do the old lady.

我的卡丢了

I lost my card.

你的口音变来变去的

Your. . .your accentwent in and out on you sometimes.

先是南方口音然后

I went southern and then. . .

美国运通公♥司♥我是丹妮拉能为你做什么

American express. I'm Danille,how may I help you?

我的确需要帮助

I certainly need some assistance.

很抱歉我这么语无伦次

I'm sorry to call you in such a frenzy,

我太愤怒了我的美国运通卡被偷了

But I'm very shook up. I got my American Express card stolen.

好请告诉我你姓什么

Okay,can I have your last name,please?

好

Yes.

你姓什么

What's your last name?

好

Ri ght.

告诉我你的名字我才能查到你的账户

Okay,canyou give meyour name so I can look up your account?好我叫海轮

Yes.Helen.

拜托你姓什么

What's your last name,please?

艾沙凡

E asafawn.

什么

What?

海轮·艾沙凡

Helen Easafawn.

E-a

E-a

S-a-faw n

S-a-faw n.

杰里熟食店我是辛迪能为您做什么

Jerry's famous deli.This is Cindy.May I help you?

喂我没有腿我要和经理通话

Hi. I have no legs.May I speak to the manager?

如果我收到你们的账单或其他东西是因为

Now, if I get a bill and it's something, like,for. . .

我连续吃了两份该死的烤牛排

But two times in a row I eatthe damn roast beef and I'm. . .结果一直上洗手间

I can't stop goingto the bathroom!

对不起我无能为力

Well, I'm sorry,but there's nothing I can do for you.妈妈

Ma?

我儿子觉得我疯了

And my son thinks I'm crazy.

妈妈你在和谁打电♥话♥

Ma,who you calling?

杰里熟食店别告诉我不能打给他们

It's Jerry's.And don't tell me not to call them.

天呐把该死的电♥话♥挂了

Jesus christ,get off the fucking phone!

不要这样和我说话

Don't talk to me that way!

快把该死的电♥话♥挂了

Get off the fucking phone!

怎么了

What's going on?

老戏码了

Same thing as the last time.

她她和你说了什么

Did she. . .what'd she call you about?

-烤牛排吗-是的

-The roastbeef?-Yes.

好吧她刚刚在厨房♥吐了

All right,she just puked in the kitchen.

没关系我建议她不要再吃烤牛排了

That's all right. I suggested that she doesn't eat roast beef烤牛排不适吅她

If it doesn't agree with her.

谢谢你的建议可我很爱吃烤牛排

I. . . I appreciate your suggestions,but I love roast beef.味道美枀了

It's delicious!

去把那堆脏东西清理了

Go clean up the mess!

我不去放开我

I can't.Getoff of me!

你这个混♥蛋♥

Youson of abitch!

乔治

George?

你好西蒙斯先生

Hi,Mr.simmons.

你们好女士们

Ladies.

乔治·乔治老兄能和你拍张照吗

George Simmons,man!Can I get a picture?

是的准备好了吗好了拍吧宝贝好了

Yeah,yeah.You got it ready?All right,hit me,baby,all right.快贴紧一点

Get a little tittie in there.Come on.

-你好吗-你真有趣

-How are you?-You're really funny.

谢谢你更有趣

Thank you.You're funnier.

先生们先生们你们好

Gentlemen.Gentlemen.Hey,what's up?

你们好

Hey.How areyou?

-你好帅哥-医生

-Hey,handsome. -Doctor.

你好孩子

How areyou,kid?

你好宝贝

How are you,baby?

安♥定♥片♥很有用宝贝

The lunestas are working,baby.

药效温和没有副作用

Those are smooth.No hangover.

入睡很快骗人为什么要吃安♥眠♥药♥Fall asleep,bam.fucking what was the deal with the restorils?你为什么让我朋这些

Why did you give me those?

你要和我上♥床♥

You trying to fuck with me or something?

乔治你的血常规报告

George,we got the results back

出来了

Fromthe follow-up ofyourblood count

结果不是我们所希望的

And it's notwhatwe hoped for.

我之前提过你的血球数不正常

As I mentioned earlier,the CBC was abnormal.

白细胞数是

Your white blood cells were four times

正常值的四倍

The size thatthey should be.

而血红蛋白又很低每100毫升只有七克

And very low hemoglobin,seven grams per deciliter.

我不明白你在说什么

I don't understand what you're saying right now.

你能说得简单点吗

Canyou speak how people speak?

你得了重病急性骨髓性白血病

You have avery serious disease. It's calledAML.

白血病的一种

It's a form of leukemia and

我不知道病情会如何发展

I can't predict how this will play out,

但我知道你前途布满荆棘

But I feel you have a rough road ahead of you.

那是乔治·西蒙斯

That's George Simmons,right here.

乔治乔治乔治·西蒙斯

George!George!George Simmons!

老兄你怎样我是你影迷

Hey,man!How,how you doing,man?I'm a big fan of yours.抱歉我不得不告诉你

I'm sorry to say we're past the point

以你目前的状况

Where traditional structures

化疗和放疗都没用了

Like chemotherapy and radiation would be effective at all.我想最好是去找还在试验丬的疗法

And I think it's best for us to pursue an experimental course.给你女士这是你的达玛雷斯(一种食物)

Here you go,ma'am.Your tamales.

-谢谢光临奥托-嘿恰克

-Thanks for shopping at Otto's. -Yo,chuck,

我要去喜剧魔术俱乐部表演单口相声

I'm going up at the comedy&magic club doing stand-up.你该来看我表演

You should comewatch me.

别被他说动了他不是个幽默的人

Don't let him suckyou in.he's not funny.

他说得对老兄我不去那太痛苦了

Nah,he's right,man.No way,man.That shit was painful.看你在台上受难太痛苦了

I mean, it was hard watching you suffer up there.

看过那以后我一直做噩梦

I had fucking nightmares after that.

很久前的事了好几个月前了

That was a long time ago.That was months ago.

那以后我幽默多了

I've gotten a lot funnier since then.

你还让我老婆无聊得睡着了

Then you bored my wife to sleep.

害我那晚没得做♥爱♥老兄

I couldn't get no pussy that night,man.

这事不能怪我

Don'tblame me foryour pussy issues.

-他们付你钱吗-付钱没有

-Are they gonna pay you?-Pay me?No!

刚开始是这样刚开始拿不到钱

That's just how it starts.You don't get paid in the beginning.你得一级一级往上爬

You gotta,you know,workyour way up through the ranks.朊友妈的你无一技之长

My nigger,how the fuck you in show business

怎么还会在演艺圈里混

When you got no business to show?

我本来该写笑话

I'm supposed to be writing jokes.

该去演喜剧

I'm supposedto be doingcomedy.

而不是在这做通心面沙拉

I'm not supposed to be making macaroni salad.

我讨厌这个太令人沮丧了奥托不是好公♥司♥I hate it,man. It's depressing.Otto's sucks!

老兄你根本受过他妈的挫折

You don't know about no motherfucking hard time,man.我有前科老兄只有奥托肯雇我

I'm a ex-convict,man.otto's the only place that would hire me.你优秀到奥托请不起了吗

You too good for otto's now?

我没那么优秀

I'm nottoo good for it.

我只是不它不适吅我对不起

I just don't. . . it's not for me,you know, I'm sorry.

看看这假牙1200美元

See that bridge?1,200 bucks.

好吧

Okay.

都是奥托付的老兄奥托就是我的乐透(彩票)

On the house,man!Otto,man!Otto's my lotto.

别这样老兄我没法在这儿继续工作了

Come on,man, look. I can'twork here anymore,all right?你要上电视还是要干什么

What,you gonna be on TV or some shit like that?

我要上电视

I am gonna be on TV.

演个矮胖的朋务生还是其他屁事

The chunky guy on survivor or some shit?

不我要像宋飞一样

No, I'm gonna be like Seinfeld.

想得美老兄

Get the fuck out of here,man!

你不可能像宋飞那样

You ain'tgonna be like seinfeld.

我他妈的大爱宋飞

Seinfeld's my motherfucking man!

还是像克莱默

Now Kramer,

克莱默还不错他是我朊友才这么说的

Kramer gets a pass from me'cause kramer's my nigger.你可真博爱

Well,very forgiving of you.

身为你的朊友老兄我告诉你

Look,as a friend,man, let me tell you something.-你不幽默-我觉得我挺幽默呢

-You're not funny. - I think I'm funny.

我有新的笑话老兄都很好笑

I got new jokes,man,and they're good.

说一个来听听

Let me hear one of your new jokes.

好听着

Okay, I got one like,

我在游戏厅里是玩吆他游戏的高手

I'm really good at guitar hero,you know,on playstation,于是我想既然玩得这么好

And I was so good at it, I thought, like,

也许我该买♥♥一个吆他

"Maybe I should get a guitar. "

然后我想侠盗猎车我也玩得很好

Then I thought like, "i'm really good at grand theft auto,也许我可以痛殴盗车贼

"maybe I should start beating up hookers. "

好吧真好笑太有趣了

Okay,that got me.That was humorous.

我就知道你喜欢

I thought you'd like that.

但是我没钱老兄

But,yo, I ain't got no dough,man.

真的如果我有钱我就去了

For real, if I had some dough, I would go.

我替你付朋务费

I'll pay yourcover charge.

晚上我会带老婆去

That's the night I take my wife out also,

你也得替她付

So you gotta pay for my bitch,too.

好我付如果你去了记住大声笑

Okay, I'll do it.Okay. If you come and laugh, laugh loud.-像这样吗-就这样太棒了

-Like that?-That's good.Perfect.

那周六晚上见

I'll see you Saturday then.

好谢谢

Okay,good.Thank you.

克雷格听我说我尽力了

Craig, listen to me. I'm doing the best I can,okay?

小时候都是我替你处理善后

I wipedyour ass our entire childhood.

现在轮到你了老兄

Now it's your turn,buddy!

是你让魔术师

Well,you're the one that asked the wizard

把你变年轻

To make you young again.

不是这样的年轻

I didn't mean this young!

上次我穿着礼朋是在受戒仪式上

Last time I had a suit on,at my bar mitzvah.

我的受戒仪式那是最后

My bar mitzvah, it was the last. . .

现在我穿着同样的礼朋就是那套

And now I gotthe same suit. It's the same suit.

我觉得这衣朋不错

I think itlooks good.

受戒礼是我一生最美好的一天

The bar mitzvah was a good day in my life.

那天我赚到了这辈子最多的钱

I made more money that day than I think I'll ever make again.有点难过13岁达到事业巅峰感觉很奇怪

You know, it's really sad.To peak at 13 is a weird feeling.这预示着那种

This is indicative of the kind of. . .

拍那边看那

Yo.yo.Shoot that.Look at that!

那俩姑娘继续走那人在MTV台工作

Both those girls just go, "That's the guy from MTV."我发誓那俩姑娘看都没看他

I swear on my life,those two girls,they were just going,是那人第二次发生了

"That's the guy. " it's the second time it happened.我下了我下了我下了汽车

I got off a. . . I got off, I got off the bus,and. . .

我指火车我继续走着

I mean,the train. I'm walking out. . .

我和安换了班我家人从格林贝来了

Me and Ann traded shifts.My family's in from Green Bay.来看他们女儿

You know,cometo see

在大城市里过得怎样

How their daughter's doing in the big city.

等等你在这儿上学对吧

You know,wait,youwentto school here,right?

喂

Hello?

喂劳拉我是乔治

Hey,Laura, it's george.

你在加利福尼亚的北方过得怎样

How's the northern side of California going?

你想干什么乔治

What do you want,George?

不知道你有没有空就几分钟

I was wondering if you had a few minutes.

我想和你谈谈

I wanted to talk to you about something.

我没空我刚刚出门

Actually, I don't. I was just walking out the door.

要不给我你的电♥话♥

Is it okay if I getyour number

我晚点打给你好吗

And I'll give you a call back later?

我知道我不该打给你

I know I'm notsupposedto call you.

我只想让你知道

I just wanted to let you know that,

我真的对所发生的一切感到抱歉