languagewin

WhitePaperWin-WinNegotiations1www.
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phpClassicalthinkerssuchasMachiavellirecommendatotalabsenceofmercyinnegotiation.
Subscriberstothisphilosophycometothetablepreparedtocrushtheenemyatallcosts-evenifitmeansusingstealth,deceptionandmanipulationtogetwhattheywant.
Thisapproachworkslargelybecauseunpreparedornavecounterpartsfinditdifficulttoaccepttheideathatsomepeoplearecunning,deviousandruthless.
Coercionhasaplaceinmoralsocietyduringcertainhigh-stakesinteractions,suchashostagenegotiationsorwhennationalsecurityisontheline.
Butcamouflageandpressuretacticscanbackfireinbusinesswhenanegotiatordestroyshis/hercounterpartattheexpenseofalong-termtrustingrelationship.
Many21stcenturynegotiatorsrecognisethisrisk;andinsteadofleveragingthepowerofcoercion,theyusethepowerofunderstandingtoachievemutualwinsatthenegotiationtable.
ProfessorHoracioFalcao1suggestsawin-winapproachtonegotiationshouldbebasedonarisk/rewardstandpoint.
Thesalientquestionis:'Whatistherewardofmovingfastintrusting(theotherparty)andwhatistherisk'Ifthedealissmall,youcanaffordtomovefasterontrustandreaptherewardsquickerifyouareright.
Conversely,youmaywanttobemorecautiouswhenthestakesarehigher,becauseexcesstrustmayjustleaveyouwithaproblem2.
Falcaoadvocatesstartingfromaplaceof'zerotrust'.
"Thebeautyofwin-winisthatyoudon'tneedtrusttobeginwith,whatisactuallyneededearlyonisinterdependence".
Thiscanbeestablishedearlyinthenegotiationbecauseastwopeoplecometogethertonegotiate,there'satleastanimplicitunderstandingthattheyneedoneanothertobebetterofforatleastwillbebetteroffbyworkingtogether.
Counter-intuitively,trustisnotneededtoestablishinterdependenceortonegotiatetoawin-winoutcome.
Thekeywordhereisneededithelpsifyoucanbuildtrust,butyoucansurvivewithoutit.
Thisisfortunatebecausemostpeopledonotnegotiatewithpeopletheyalreadytrust,andconsequentlytheywouldneverbeabletomoveforwardwithawin-winapproach.
However,beforeyoucannegotiatewithothersyouneedtonegotiatewithyourselfandunderstandwhatisinyourbestinterests.
Thisrequireslettinggoofresentmentaboutthepastanddissipatingnegativeemotionssuchasangeranddistrust.
WhenyouunderstandyourpersonalBATNA3,youcanletgoofnegativetactics,andstartworkingtowardsaYESinthenegotiationwiththeotherparty.
Thereisnopointindestroyingthemifyoudestroyyourselfintheprocess.
Itisfarbettertoholdpositiveassumptionsaboutlifeandenjoythepresentratherthanresentingthepastoffearingthefuture.
Whenyouareinthis'zone'sayingyestoothersismucheasierandparadoxicallycanleadtoabetternegotiatedoutcomeallround.
1ValueNegotiation:HowtofinallygettheWin-Winright.
See:http://www.
valuenegotiation.
com2Formoreontrustsee:https://www.
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au/WhitePapers/WP1030_The_Value_of_Trust.
pdf3BATNA=BestAlternativeToaNegotiatedAgreement;ie,thepointyouwalkawayfromthenegotiationbecausethereisabetteralternative.
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phpThisisbecauseeverynegotiationinvolvesthehumanelementsoftrust,emotions,subjectivity,languageandcollaboration.
Andweknowthattherearemanyadvantagestowin-winstrategiessuchaslong-termbusinessrelationships,efficientprocessesandmorevalueintheoutcomesforbothsides.
Theideaofawin-wincanbeveryappealingbutneedsskilltoachieve.
Onewaytoshifttowardswin-winnegotiatingandthebuildingoftrustiswhenawin-winnegotiationmoveisadoptedbyoneside,suchasproactivelysharinginformationorinterests.
Bytakingtheinitiativeofputtingonepriorityonthetable,explainingthemotivationtodosoandsharingyourintentiontocollaborate,theninvitingthecounterpartytoreciprocatethedynamicsofthenegotiationcanbechangedandthiscanyieldmorevaluetoeveryone.
Win-winisapositivenegotiatingstancefocusedonconstantlytryingtobuildvaluebymakingpositivemovesinthenegotiationthatcanalsobenefittheotherside;butonlyifthey'workwithyou'.
Thefundamentalbasicsofagoodnegotiationremainsuchaspreparationandunderstandingyourobjectives4,what'sdifferentisthemeansusedtoobtainthoseobjectives.
EffectiveWin-WinStrategiesBycommittingtoawin-winprocessratherthantheoutcome,thenegotiatorfocusesonwhatiswithinhisorhercontrol.
Aneffectivenegotiatorcannotcommittoawin-winoutcomebecauseitcannotbeguaranteed,butcancommittopreparingandfollowinganegotiationprocessthatisinthespiritofawin-winbyusingtheseapproaches:Interdependence–Asdiscussedabove,thestrategyforaneffectivewin-winnegotiatoristopromoteinterdependenceratherthantrust.
Interdependenceisveryeffectivebecauseitisbuiltontheunderstandingofbothpartiesthatitisintheirself-interesttoworktogether.
Proactivelearning–Ratherthanjustlisteningtotheotherparty,oreven'activelistening',toremaininthedrivingseatofanegotiation,onehastomastertheskillofproactivelearning.
Thisemphasisesaquestionfirstapproach,allowingthenegotiatortoleadtheprocessinadirectionthatwillmaximiselearningandimprovedecision-making5.
Betranslucentratherthentransparent-Beingtranslucentmeansrevealingjustenoughinformationonsubstanceforthecounterpartytobemotivatedtoreachamutuallybeneficialoutcome;thisisconsistentwithavoidingpowerplayandunethicalpitfallsaswellasnotfeelingpressuredtorevealeverything.
Youdonotneedtobetransparentonyourfeelingsorrelationshipwiththeotherparty.
Bereasonable–Aneffectivenegotiatorwillbereasonable,whichmeansfindingacommonmeaningthatisvalidatedwithineachparty'svaluesystem.
Amovethatlackssuchcommonmeaningmightbeconsideredunilateralandthusrejectedbytheother.
Theconceptof'fairness'isoftensubjective,exclusiveorseendifferentlydependingonasituation,thereforeitisnotalwayseffectiveinawin-winnegotiation.
Bepositive–Apositive(notnave)negotiatorinitiatesabalanced,value-focuseddialoguewhereexchangesgetprogressivelylargerasthecounterpartyreciprocates.
Thisencouragesreciprocationandmaximisesbothparties'value.
Beingunduly'nice'expectsreciprocationratherthanearningitandmaybemisinterpretedasasignofweaknessorconverselyasasignofarrogance,whichwouldinviteundesirablepowermoves.
Beloyal–tothenegotiationprocess,whichisconsistentwithbeingcollaborativeandpositivetowardsyourcounterpartyratherthentryingtobefaithfultoyournegotiatingcounterparty.
Faithfulnesstotheotherpersonrisksmanipulationontheirpart,inducesconfusionbetweentherelationshipandsubstance4Formoreonnegotiatingsee:https://www.
mosaicprojects.
com.
au/WhitePapers/WP1024_Negotiating.
pdf5Formoreonactivelisteningandeffectivequestionssee:https://www.
mosaicprojects.
com.
au/WhitePapers/WP1012_Active_Listening.
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phpaspectsofthenegotiationandcouldnegativelyaffectone'srelationshipwiththecounterpartyifthenegotiationturnssour.
Win-Win-v-Win-LoseAwin-winapproachcandeliverhighervalueatlowerriskthanawin-losescenario.
Awin-loseapproachfocusesonobtainingpowerovertheopposingparty.
Bothpartiestreattheotherasanenemyandtrytousepowertobullyothersideintoalosingposition.
Thisisnotsobadifyou'win'butatleast50%ofallpartiesinadisputednegotiationlose.
Sometimeseveryoneloses.
Awin-winapproachfocusesongoodcommunicationtodevelopmorevalue,andhencetheinterestsofbothpartiescanbesatisfied.
Valuenegotiationsfocusoncreatingvalueandawayfrompower.
Focusingongainingpowerwillnotguaranteevaluewhereascreatingvaluewill.
Implementedcorrectly,awin-winapproachcanbeamomentum-buildingexercise:Istartpersuadingyoulittlebylittlebyexample,andleadingbymyownbehaviourthatyoudon'thavetofearme.
Therefore,youdon'thavetodefendyourselfbecauseI'mnotattackingyou.
Thereforeyoudon'thavetoresistandyoudon'thavetobringyourpowertothetablebecauseI'mnotbringingmine.
It'snotthatwedon'thavethepower;we'rejustnotbringingittothetable.
Ifwedon'thavetofightoverpower,wecancooperatetocreateavaluableoutcomeforbothofus.
Achievingthisoutcome,particularlyinthefaceofsomeoneinitiallyfocusedonwin-loserequirescourage,integrityandhonesty,win-winisnotasoftoptionbutcanbeaverysuccessfuloption.
Defeating'hard-ball'opponentsPeoplewhoinsistonplayinghardballmightnotknowanyotherwaytonegotiate-oritmayjustbeatactic.
Unfortunately,resistingtheirtacticscanbestressfulandusuallydemandshighperformancepracticestochangethegame.
Somepotentialresponsesinclude:1.
Ignorethecoercion.
Classicnegotiationsometimesreliesonverbalabusetointimidateorshaketheconfidenceofacounterpart.
Thistacticcanrangefromyellingtomakingsubtleinsultsaboutacounterpart'sappearance.
Oneresponseistostaycalmandpretendyoudidnotheartheabuse.
Anotherresponseistocallabreak,switchtopicsoraskthepersontorepeattheirmessage.
2.
Discussthetactic.
Classicnegotiationoftenreliesonstealthandcamouflage.
Onewaytodisarmcraftynegotiatorsistolabeltheirtacticsandindicateawarenessoftheintendedeffects.
Negotiatorswholeveragethepowerofunderstandingcantalkopenlyaboutrulesofengagementandmakethecaseformutualrespect6.
3.
Leadtheother.
Opendiscussionabouttacticscanleadtodiscussionsaboutleveragingthepowerofunderstanding-especiallywhenbothsidescanbenefitfromalong-termrelationshipoftrust.
Remember,somepeopledon'tknowanyotherwaytonegotiatesoyoumayneedto:-Stresstheimportanceofthecompatibleneedsbothpartieshaveincommon.
-Describethepossibilityofmutuallybeneficialoutcomes.
-Explainthathardballtacticsincreasereputationalrisksandleadtohighercosts,lostdealsandnegativeoutcomes.
6Unethical(usuallybad/bullying)negotiatorsoftenfeelcomfortablelyingorcheatingtodefeattheiropponents.
Ifmisrepresentationsarediscoveredafterabusinesstransactionhasstarted,thevictimmightneedthehelpofanindependentadjudicatorposttheevent.
Alawsuitisoneexampleofthistypeofrights-basedapproach,whichproducesajudgmentimposeduponthedeclaredwinnerandloser.
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php4.
Respondinkind.
Innegotiationsituationswherethedealisasingletransactionandarelationshipisnotthetopconcern,negotiatorsmightwanttorespondinkindwiththeirownhardballtactics.
Remember,onceyoucrossintothisterritory,itisnearlyimpossibletoreturn–ifyoufeelthismaybeaviableoption,haveatrustworthyreplacementnegotiationavailabletotakeoverif'win-win're-emergesasanoption.
6.
Walkaway.
Sometimesthebestoption,especiallywhenfacingapathologicalnarcissist,istowalkaway.
Somepsychologistsassertitisnaivetotrytohandle,manage,containorchannelanarcissist'stactics.
Pathologicalnarcissistsare,bydefinition,incapableofteamworkandconstructiverelationships.
SummaryThereticencetowardswin-winonthepartofmanynaivenegotiatorscanbeattributedtopre-conceivednotionsabout'goodguys'beingsoftandnotwinning!
Consequently,theyconsiderwin-winasasoftoptionwhichisabigmisconception.
.
.
Thewholepurposeofnegotiatingisto'win'asmuchaspossiblewiththeminimumrisk.
Doneproperlyawin-winapproachcancreateamuchlarger'win'foramuchsmallerriskandallowtheotherpartytowinaswellreducingthepossibilitytheybecomeanintractableenemy.
Itreallydoesnotmatterhowmuchthey'win'whatmattersisthatyouwinwhatyouneedforasuccessfuloutcome7.
Lifeisallaboutchoicesandchoosinganegotiatingstyleisnodifferent.
AsFalcaosaysinhisbook,'Mostpeoplewillattributewin-winandwin-loseasifthesituationwasalreadypredefined.
.
.
Istronglybelievethatwin-winandwin-loseisachoiceyouhaveonhowtoaddressthesituationandthatmakingachoiceactuallyempowersus.
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