观众letmekissyou

--ASTUDANDABABE(JASONandJULIEsittnarestaurant,bothnervouslygropingforanything,anythingatall,tosay.
Restless,edgyMUSICunderscores.
MUSICstops,nothinghappens,MUSICrestarts.
MUSICstopsagain,asJASONfinallycomesupwithsomething.
)男女都扭过去,只看一眼,躲,扭回来JASONDidImentionIjusthadmyphonefixed.
女要表现得特别专著特别感兴趣JULIEReally女转身,一下到位女表情不动,绷住了(内心:期待---无语了)JASONYes.
JULIEOhJASONYeah.
JULIEWow.
JASONYeah.
之前的各种问来问去的词要注意:速度要慢,情绪窘阿….
(Theconversationdiesahorribledeath.
MUSICrestarts.
MUSICstopsasJULIEcomesupwithsomething.
)音乐起,女转向观众JULIE全身转向男Oh,Ijustrememberedthecuteststoryaboutmybrother!
JASONOh,what!
JULIENo,maybenot.
.
.
转回去JASONNo,c'mon,c'mon!
JULIEOkay(鼓一口气,自己先乐半天,像男人).
Mybrother--thisisreallycute-JASONYeah,yeah,yeah!
陪乐JULIEHehaseleventoes(拉长.
.
于点这个地方容易快,注意音量)!
(Anotherhorribleconversationdeath.
MUSICstarts.
"ASTUDANDABABE")JULIEISITHERETRYINGTOIMPRESSANDMAKETHISGUYAWESTRUCKBUTEVERYSUBJECTIADDRESSMAKESMESOUNDLIKESUCHASCHMUCK(低头)一直保持低头的动作JASONIT'SNOTTHATICAN'TBEDIVERTINGSOMETIMESICANEVENTHRILL(沈力的天花状)BUTI'DJUSTBESOMUCHBETTERATFLIRTINGIFIONLYHADLOOKSTHATKILL(想看.
不敢看,看了,停一下,再回,回环的那个动作)IFIWEREA(到此前,男人一直处于缩着的状态)STUD(撸头)JULIE(在男人唱stud的d的时候抬头)IFIWERE(前三个词,女人还很尿)ABABE(突然打开,正面冲前,不扭,不性感)注意此时不互相看,,自己yy中.
.
.
JASONTHEKINDOFGUYGIRLSLOVE(晃肩,巨傻那种)JULIETHEKINDOFGIRLGUYSCRAVE(手撑自己的屁股,傻,挺胸,剽悍,侧面给观众,依然不扭).
.
.
(MUSICbreaksoutintorock'nroll.
)JULIE(坐着)MYBREASTSWOULDBEROUNDER(大的快掉了)--之后站起来JASON(坐着)MYPECSWOULDASTOUNDHER(大力士状)JULIEMYLEGSWOULDBELONGER(sexy伸腿)JASONMYARMSWOULDBESTRONGER(法老状)JULIEMYLOCKSWOULDBEFLOWING(揉头发)JASONMYCHESTHAIRWOULDBESHOWINGJULIEMYHIPSWOULDBESLIMMER(抬脚拍屁股)JASONMYBUTTWOULDJUSTSIMMER(同拍屁股,拍出声音)以上六句,两位往两边走JASON/JULIEOH!
OH!
OH!
一上一下,先中间后两边JULIEI'MGONNAGOUPANDSEDUCEHIM!
指男人,,男人继续跳JASON/JULIEOH!
OH!
OH!
女人回来继续扭JASONSHE'LLBEBEGGINGMEFORMORE!
指自己JASON/JULIEOH!
OH!
OH!
大家一起扭JULIEYEAH,TONIGHTI'MGONNAGOOSEHIM!
再指男人JASONTONIGHTI'MGONNASCORE!
YEAH!
胜利状,跳ASTUD!
健美状,,女人看男人JULIEABABE!
性感站住JASONSHE'LLLOVE!
指JULIEHE'LLCRAVE!
指JASON/JULIEOH!
OH!
OH!
继续一上一下舞IFIWEREA.
.
.
(MUSICUNDER,slowandbluesy.
)性感走回桌子,坐下JASON(Withrenewedvigor)So,Julie,baby,baby!
边坐边说JULIE说之前先刮勺子Talktome,sweetmeat!
JASONOo,youhavesomenachoschmutzonyourface说的一点都不犹豫,,女人不动作JULIE(Wipingherface)Gone不捂脸,不为所动的gone,甩,饥渴状(怎么还不干正事!
)JASONYouwipedittotheotherside.
(Shewipestheotherside)Nowit'sonyourchin.
(Shewipesherchin)期间女人猛擦,看着男人,往前倾,夸张Better.
定格,,然后回去缩着(Theybothsigh.
MUSICreturnstotenseandedgy.
)Julie(边转边说,女听到叫自己后才转过去),behonest.
Idon'thavealotofwhatyou'relookingfor--doIJULIENo,no,it'sme.
JASONJulie(转身对观众)--I'MNOTASTUD.
JULIEI'MNOTABABE先转向观众,再唱JASONI'MNOTAGUYGIRLSLOVE挠膝盖,坐对观众,头对女人唱JULIEWell--I'MNOTAGIRLGUYSCRAVEJASONReally男回头,,女反听到男方应后再回头(Theylookateachother.
MUSICreturnstorock'nroll,graduallybuilding.
)JULIE对着观众,低头,眼神轻瞟男人I'MAWKWARDANDWHINYJASONMYBICEPSARETINY摸一下JULIEI'MNOTTOOATHLETICJASONMYCLOTHESARESYNTHETIC搓自己JULIEMYNAILSAREALLCHEWEDON站起来,作惊讶状,举手盯指甲,往边上走JASONMYHAIRISALLGLUEDONJULIE两人开始对视myHIPSAREREALDUMPY拍屁股JASONWELL,MINEAREREALLUMPY拍屁股JASON/JULIEOH!
OH!
OH!
一边的那个舞JULIEEVERYNIGHTI'MALWAYSSNORING!
女:吹气男:法老状JASON/JULIEOH!
OH!
OH!
JASONYEAH,MYFEETCANREALLYSTINK!
男:伸腿舞女:ohyeah舞JASON/JULIEOH!
OH!
OH!
JULIEYEAH,I'MHOMELYANDI'MBORING!
男:机器人舞JASONWELL,LETMEBUYYOUONEMOREDRINK!
洒脱状JULIEYEAH!
惊讶—sohappy!
JASONNOSTUD!
automanJULIENOBABE!
小衩JASONILOVE!
单手抚胸—贱JULIEICRAVE!
同贱JASON/JULIEOH!
OH!
OH!
OH!
OH!
OH!
OH!
OH!
OH!
沈力舞—往中间跳对着跳,上下打量一番.
.
OH!
OH!
OH!
OH!
OHHH.
.
.
(Hespinsher,causinghertoalmostflyoffthestage.
Hecatchesheratthelastmomentandpullsherclose.
Shejumpsintohisarmsandtheykiss.
)MENWHOTALKANDTHEWOMENWHOPRETENDTHEY'RELISTENING(Twotablesinarestaurant.
BOB#1sitswithVERONICA.
BOB#2sitswithBETTY.
)BOB#1Andthat'swhyIlove(伸手)aerodynamicengineering(手放腿上,拍出声音)!
整体状态是很垮的VERONICAWow,Bob.
Whata--longstory.
BOB#1I'msorry.
Ijustlove(伸手,打出声音)whatIdosoIlovetoshare(拍腿,身明显向前探,不回来).
Iwasn'tboringyou,wasIVERONICAOhno,no.
Oftentimes,whenI'mlisteningrealhard,myeyes(举手)areclosedlikethat.
BOB#1先反应一下,再慢慢吸气,坐回来Ithoughtso.
Soanything(手指菜单)tostartVERONICA往前探一点Ohno,Bob,noappetizerforme.
I'maverylighteater.
sharp的转身(利用肩膀)I'MLYING.
Plus,Ididn'tgettothegymtoday,andIgenerallygoeverysingleday.
I'MREALLYLYING.
BOB#1Veronica(拉长),youareonespeciallady(拉长).
Icouldtalktoyou(拉长)allnight.
VERONICA之前先是装作很欣慰,但是,,我c你妈.
.
.
PLEASEGODDON'TLETHIM.
.
.
(FOCUSONBOB#2andBETTY.
)BOB#2--butmyrealpassion--isgolf.
BETTYYesBob,Icouldtellbytheplaid.
(BETTYlaughs,BOB#2doesn't.
BETTYquicklystopslaughing.
)AndIjustloveplaid.
BOB#2ButdoyoulikegolfBETTYOfcourse.
(ToAUDIENCE)I'MLYING.
BOB#2DoyouplayBETTYOh--surely.
OHBOY,I'MLYING.
BOB#2Wegottaplaysometime!
BETTYYourcourseormine(Shewaitstoseeifhelaughs,whichhedoes,andshejoinsin.
)BETTYWHOISTHISWOMANTALKINGBOB#2Hey,didyoueverseethegreatestgolfmovieevermade--"Caddyshack"BETTYLovedit!
IDIDN'TSEETHISMOVIE.
BOB#2WhatwasyourfavoritesceneBETTYHELPME.
VERONICAHELPME.
看观众BETTY/VERONICAHELPME.
BOB#1Sothedifferencebetweenfuelexhaustandfuelinjectionisreallyverysimple--(BETTYandVERONICAsing:"SINGLEMANDROUGHT")VERONICATOTHINK,HETHINKSHE'SATHISBEST外侧手NOTHOUGHTTONIGHTHASHEREPRESSEDHETALKSANDTALKS手做pikapika状ANDEYESMYBREAST转个圈,转到胸部THERE'SASERIOUSSINGLEMANDROUGHT摊手BETTYNOWSOMEWOULDSAYACATCHIFOUNDHE'SSINGLE,STRAIGHT,HISMINDISSOUNDTHERE'SFOURGUYSLEFTLIKEHIMAROUNDTHERE'SASERIOUSSINGLEMANDROUGHTVERONICAICAN'TBELIEVEHE'STALKINGSTILL摊手,指BETTYOHGODINEEDASCOTCHREFILLVERONICAHECHEWSBETTYHESPEWSVERONICA/BETTYICOULDUSEAPILLTHERE'SASERIOUSSINGLEMANDROUGHTBETTYSTANDARDS!
IUSEDTOHAVESOMESTANDARDS!
BUTMANBYMANEV'RYSTANDARDMEANDEREDFROMMEVERONICA恨的不行了/还不如女同去呢.
.
.
痛心疾首状LESBIAN!
ISHOULDBEALESBIAN!
IFIWASBORNTOLOVEWOMENHOWWONDROUSLYSANEIWOULDBEBOB#2Andwhowasyourfavorite"Caddyshack"actorBETTYOhyouknow--thatperson--thatwacky,nutty--thatnuttygolfthingieguy--BOB#2ChevyChase!
BETTYYes!
BOB#2Me,too!
BETTYICOULDGROWOLDALONEJUSTFINEVERONICAI'LLBUYSOMECATSLIKETWENTY-NINEBETTY/VERONICATHEY'LLFINDMEDEADINMYFELINESHRINETHERE'SASERIOUSSINGLEMANDROUGHT开始向台中走SOIDATEBOBANDHOPEANDFLIRTHEMIGHTGETBETTERBYDESSERT走到台中ISTAY外侧手IPRAY阿米妥佛状STILLIASSERT摊手THERE'SASERIOUSSINGLEMAN--DELIRIOUSSINGLEMAN--BOB#1/BOB#2Andletmetakecareofthecheck.
BETTY/VERONICALet'ssplitit.
外侧甩手BETTYI'MLYINGVERONICAI'MLYINGBETTY/VERONICAI'MREALLYLYINGBOB#1/BOB#2No,it'sonme!
BETTY/VERONICAYOUBETYOURSWEETMACHOGOLDCARDITIS!
向观众:废话!
当然是你付钱了///'CAUSETHERE'SASERIOUS先左后右两步两步DELIRIOUSSEVER-IOUSWAGNER-IOUSSENDTHEMARINES,WE'RETALKIN'SERIOUS军礼SINGLEMANDROUGHT!
手腾空放下,,脚上扭来扭去,最后一拍伸外侧脚(Theysnaptheirfingers)Ladiesroom!
BETTYandVERONICAexitwithattitude.
BOBSremain,andsuddenlynoticetheaudience'sTEARJERK(JAMESenters.
Hesings:)女看电影JAMESSOIGO"LET'SDODINNERANDAFLICK"甩手SOSHEGOES"WELLYOUCERTAINLYMOVEQUICK"SOIGO"WELLYOU'RESOLOVELYTHATYOUMAKEMYHEARTJUSTACHE"陶醉—棒!
!
冲观众眉眼整个过程不看女人(Hegivesa"thumbsup"sign.
)SOSHEGOES"WELLWHATMOVIESHOULDWEDO"SOIGO"WELLTHATISFULLYUPTOYOU"再甩,潇洒状ANDTHATMYFRIENDSWASMYONEBIGMISTAKE摊双手,向前探一点身(Twomovieseatsappear.
JANEsitsinone.
JAMESsitsnexttoher.
JANEwatchesthemovieasJAMEScontinues.
)看女一眼,有什么可看的阿!
突然转头对观众MYMOVIESATISFACTIONISMINDLESS,VIOLENTACTIONSOMEMUSCLEMENWHOTUSSLEWITHSTALLONEATHRILLTHATWOULDTHRILLUSWITHARNOLD手扶胳膊,肌肉ORBRUCEWILLISANDLOTSOFNAKEDSHOTSOFSHARONSTONE慢二郎腿THISMOVIEHEREISCLOYING突然放开,拍膝盖SOPRETTYANDANNOYINGTHESEFLICKSTHEYMAKEFORCHICKSWHODRAGTHEIRMENIBETSHEGETSALLWEEPY往后靠,甩手WHILEIGETREALLYSLEEPY看女NOCHICKWILLEVERPICKTHEFLICKAGAIN摊手无奈状JANE对观众,目光高远,大眼睛(Indicatingthescreen)SHELOVESHEBUTHEISMARRIEDTOAWIFEWHO'SDYINGREALLY吸一大口气,不扭,不性感SLOW男无语了.
.
.
HEWON'TLEAVESOTHEY'REALLHARRIEDHOWBEAUTIFUL,HE'SDUTIFUL,THATJOE感动的啊.
.
.
JAMESIYEARNTOSEEACHAINSAW突然往前探APSYCHOWITHAPAINSAWHOWNICETOSEEHIMSLICE准备EACHPERSON'SSPLEEN出刀看电影ANUTJOBINTHISMOVIE往后靠OHBOY,WOULDTHATBEGROOVY!
HE'DWIPETHISPAINFULTRIPERIGHTOFFTHESCREENJANETHEENDISNEAR手平移,抓男手,单手变双手HE'SATHERBEDSIDE抓过来放到大腿上男人:大腿!
!
立刻看电影.
.
WHILEHISTRUELOVEWAITSFORHIM,AMEN!
JAMES往前探一点SHEDON'TLOOKGOODSHE'SONTHEDEADSIDEJANEANDNOWJOEVOWSHE'LLNEVERLOVEAGAIN!
JAMES抽回手不看电影,自己yy,WELLTHATISRATHERQUEERNOWDIDIJUSTFEEL--ATEARNOW摸脸IBETIT'SJUSTSOMESWEATCAUGHTINMYEYEWELLTHATISFAIRLYFUNNYMYNOSEFEELSRATHER–RUNNY抽鼻子GOODGOD!
THISMIGHTSOUNDODDBUTIMIGHTCR.
.
.
抽泣,转身向边上JANEOHGOD,THEY'REATTHEGRAVENOW男人慢慢看回JAMESANDJOEISACTINGBRAVENOWI'MFEARFULI'LLBETEARFULANYSECJANE(Overlapping)OHGOD--JAMESYOUKNOWTHATSHE'LLBURNRUBBERIFISITHEREANDBLUBBERI'MQUICKLYGROWING男人单手悲催前探SICKLYI'MAWRECK!
捂嘴JANE(Overlapping)OHGOD--JAMESOHTHINKOFTHOUGHTSMOREWISTFUL这句注意音准CLINTEASTWOODWITHAFISTFUL握拳.
.
忍啊忍啊.
.
.
OFUZIGUNSANDBOOZYBROADSGALOREOHCRAP拍膝盖,IT'SJUSTNOTWORKINGTHISMOVIEISTEARJERKING指电影THISFELLOWWILLBEJELL-OONTHEFLOORIGOTTAGETAGRIPNOWJANE(Overlapping)JOEWON'TCRY--JAMES(Overlapping)ISIMPLYCANNOTSLIPNOWJANE(Overlapping)HE'STOOSTRONG-JAMES(Overlapping)MUSTFIGHT!
CLOSEMYEYESTIGHT!
'CAUSEI'MAGUY!
NOWHIMPERIN'LIKEAPUPPY往后退,,搞椅子JANE(Overlapping)JOE'SSOBRAVE--JAMESIGOTTAMACHOUP-PYNOHOWWILLIALLOWMYSELFTO.
.
.
一直往后顶OhGod!
oh的时候往后仰—前倒,但是要露脸—伸手—碎碎念(Hecries.
Likeariver.
)JANEAreyouokay扶男人JAMES弄掉女手,马上专向台侧Fine擦干净.
Allergies.
很manJANEIlovemenwhoaren'tafraidtocryatthemovies.
这句注意节奏(Hecriesevenlouderandburieshisheadinhershouldersastheyweeptogether.
)男人特委屈,抱腿哭,,女人爱抚的patpat.
.
.
THELASAGNAINCIDENT(Inthedark,wehear:)DIANEYes!
Yes!
Yes!
一yes一步,右手拍子,左手举(LIGHTSUPonCHUCKandDIANE,walkinghomefromagameoftennis.
)男人脱水的走上来DIANESo--sorry.
回头.
.
CHUCKNo,c'mon,it'sokay.
.
.
DIANE松口气,继续走,猛回头(到台中间)I-Ishouldn'thaveplayedsowell.
CHUCKNo,c'mon,it'sokay.
.
.
DIANEIshouldn'thavebeatenyou.
CHUCKNo,c'mon,it'sokay.
.
.
一直以此类推DIANE转向观众方向,边走边说Ishouldn'thaveshutyouout,inbothsets,andthenjumpedoverthenetwavingmyarmsinvictory.
high!
喘阿.
.
.
男人走到女右CHUCKYou'reright,thatyoushouldn'thavedone,yeah.
女人放下手,不好意思了,但是不转身(Theysharealaugh.
)Hey,butyoulookedgreatdoingit,though.
DIANEReally全身转向男CHUCKAbsolutely.
DIANEChuck,向台中走,边想边走边说howcomeyou'venevermadeapassatmePass回头看男人,,说完转向观众CHUCKWhatDIANE转向男Imean,thisisthefourthtimewe'vegoneout--whyisthatCHUCKWell,okay,向前走,绕过女,走到台左fairquestion.
Yes,veryfair,fairquestion.
Agoodsolid,veryfair,fairquestion.
Wow.
Oh,God.
.
.
DIANEIsitmeCHUCK给手,甩下Ohno,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no.
YouNo.
DIANEIsityouCHUCKMe!
Ohno,停顿一下,突然想清楚no,absolutelynot,Imean,alltheequipmentworksandIcertainlylike,yaknow,so.
.
.
往女走,双手张合张合,到中间隔1.
6米DIANE崩溃状God,Ishouldn'thaveasked!
I'malwayssayingstupid,stupidthingsondates!
走到台左,猛转向男It'slikeIhavethismoronswitch右手一休状inmyheadthatgoesonwhenI'mwithaguyand.
.
.
CHUCKNo,no,it'sokay.
向观众Look,Ihavethatsameswitchwithwomenandandandaboutthatpassthing,Iguess,dunno,Iwasjustbeingrespectful.
DIANERespectfulCHUCKIguess迟疑状,向台右走,actuallyDiane,Ididn'twanttomakeany,youknow,mistakes.
Because,well,I,uh,think,uh,well–转向女look,Ijustthinkyou'rethemostinterestingwomanI'vemetinages--certainlythebesttennisplayer--andI'msorry,I.
.
.
转向观众,无语悲催状DIANE向男人上步Chuck,couldImakeyoudinnertonightCHUCKReally转向女DIANEWhat'syourfavoritefoodCHUCK想一下Lasagna.
DIANEGreat,I'llmakeyoulasagna.
可逮到你了!
!
!
但是又突然觉得自己太饥渴了Ifyoudon'thaveplans.
.
.
CHUCK同饥渴,急啊MePlansNo,Ineverhaveplans.
停一下WhichisnottosayI'maloser!
hahahhahah.
.
.
No!
It'sjustthatI'mgenerallyfree.
Wow.
Great,great.
拍下手Soyou'remakingmelasagna,wellthen对观众,Ifeelquitehonored.
Yeah,thisisbighere,soIguessIshouldbringthe,yaknow提高声调DIANECondoms七喜状CHUCKWine.
DIANEOhwine!
Yes,wine,wine,yes,that'swhatImeant!
转向男Youshouldbringthewine,yes!
转向观众OhwhatwasIthinking!
Condomsdon'tevengowithlasagna!
无语了,重心往男人那边倾,男人窘笑Moronswitch,moronswitch!
Wine,yes,thatwouldbenice.
娇羞转向上台口CHUCK向女微侧,向女上一步,手贴身体Andifyouwant,Icouldalsobringcondoms.
DIANEUhhhh--yeah,youcoulddothat,yeah.
.
.
慢慢的,惊喜娇羞状,脚为轴转啊转的.
.
CHUCKOkay,great,great,wineand,right,yeah.
.
.
DIANEWell,Ireallyshouldbeheadingtowardhome,yeah,Ihaveto,youknow,gethome往男一步andlearnhowtomakelasagnaso.
.
.
CHUCKOkay,soIbringthewineand.
.
.
--DIANEGreat!
Great—伸手停他,甜蜜状(Theykiss,quickly.
Thentheykissagain,alittlelonger.
)CHUCK男往前一步Tonight.
DIANETonight--男作娇羞状转回身下台(Hesmilesatherandexits.
Shesings:"IWILLBELOVEDTONIGHT"DIANEWELLPOPTHECHAMPAGNE--BREAKOUTTHECOLOGNE--TURNUPTHEMOONLIGHTANDTURNOFFTHEPHONEWELLWHATASURPRISEAMANISINSIGHTANDIWILLBELOVEDTONIGHTTOFONDLEHISSKINTOSAVORHISLIPSTONUZZLEHISCHINTOMOVEWITHHISHIPSOURWORDSWILLBESOFTASWESOFTLYIGNITEANDIWILLBELOVEDTONIGHTYOUCANGOFROMWEEKTOWEEKYOUCANGOFROMYEARTOYEARNOTAHANDPLACEDONYOURCHEEKNOTAWHISPERINYOUREARYOUCANMAKEITTHROUGHOKAYYOUCANLIVEANDLAUGHANDFLIRTIT'SQUITEEASYINTHEDAYIT'SJUSTTHENIGHTSTHATALWAYSHURTDIANE(CONT.
)SOLETDARKNESSCOME'CAUSETHATWILLBEFINEFORI'LLHAVEASOULENTANGLEDINMINEWE'LLDOASWEPLEASEANDPLEASEHOLDMETIGHTFORIWILLBELOVEDIWILLBELOVEDYES,IWILLBELOVEDTONIGHTANDNOWTHEPARENTS(DADandMOM,theirsonMITCH,andhisgirlfriend,KAREN,getsettledaroundthediningroomtable.
)DADC'mon,kids--c'mon!
Honey,comeon!
It'sacelebration!
Youcanstuffthatthinglater!
Shirley,getinhere!
MOMOh,it'ssuchajoycookingformyfamilyondayslikethis!
DADSoI'dliketoproposeatoast.
Toourson,Mitch,andhisbetterhalf,Karen,whohavebeengoingoutfor--howlongnowMITCH/KAREN/MOMTwoyears.
DADTwoshortyears!
Andthey'vebeensmart,they'vetakentheirtimetoensurethattheytrulyloveeachotherbeforetheyjumpintoanythingasseriousas--oh,Idunno--say,marriage!
MOMHere,here!
MITCHMom,Dad,wewantedtowaittillafterdinner,butthereissomethingKarenandIhavetodiscusswithyou.
MOMOh,andIjusthappentohaveanengagementgiftonme!
MITCHWell,we'vetalkeditover--andKarenandI.
.
.
DAD/MOMYeah,yeah,yeah!
KARENWe'rebreakingup.
(Astunnedsilence.
)MOMWell.
.
.
DADWell.
.
.
MOMWell.
.
.
DADWell.
.
.
MOM/DADWell,well,well,well,well,well,well.
Well.
MITCHLook,we'vetalkedaboutitlongandhardandit'sjustsomethingI'mnotquitereadyforyet.
KARENAndI'mjustveryfocusedonmycareerrightnow.
MOMWell.
.
.
DADWellyouknowus,we'vealwayspridedourselvesonbeingsupportive.
MOMWell.
.
.
DADSoifyousayit'sforthebestwellwhatwonderfulnews.
MOMYes,congratulations.
(Shethrowsthegifttothefloor)Well--goahead,Maury,makeyourtoast.
DADRight,mytoast.
Yes,atoasttoour,uh,not-quite-readyson,Mitch,andour--too-focused-on-her-career-or-else-she'd-be-our-daughter,Karen.
ALLHere,here.
(AsMITCHandKARENareabouttodrink,MOMandDADinterruptthem.
MUSICstarts,a'50'srockballad:"HEYTHERE,SINGLEGAL/SINGLEGUY")MOM/DADHEYTHERE,SINGLEGALYOU'RESTILLSINGLENOWTONIGHTYOU'LLSTILLBESLEEPINGALLALONEBUTWEDON'TPITYYOUNO,NO,NOTPRETTYYOU'CAUSEYOURLIFEBELONGSTONOMANIT'SYOUROWNDADYOU'VEGOTYOURFRIENDSSODEARMOMNOTTOMENTION,YOURCAREERMOM/DADYOUDON'TNEEDNOGUYTOCOMEKNOCKINGATYOURDOOROOH,OOH,OOHDADBUTWEWON'TMAKEAFUSSMOM'CAUSEYOUINSPIREUSDAD/MOMLIKEMARLOTHOMASANDMARYTYLERMOOREKARENMaybeIshouldgo.
.
.
MITCHYeah.
.
.
MOM/DADHEYTHERE,YOU'REOKAYWOMANOFTODAYDADYOU'VEGOTMUCHMORETHANMOTHEREVERHAD.
MOMYouaresolucky.
MOM/DADSOGOHOME,GETSOMESLEEP-BUTPRAYYOU,DONOTWEEPMOMJUSTCURLUPWITHSOMEHAAGENDAZS,ANDBEGLAD.
MOM/DADSINGLEGAL.
(MITCHandKAREN,thinkingit'sfinallyover,attempttodrink.
)MITCHOkay,let'stoast.
.
.
MOM/DAD(Interrupting)HEYTHERE,SINGLEGUYNONEEDTOCLARIFYWHYAMANOFYOURAGE,CAN'TCOMMITIT'SFINEWITHUS,MYSONJUSTDRINK,DANCE,HAVESOMEFUNWE'REYOURPARENTS,WESUPPORTYOU,YOULITTLESHIT.
MITCHMom!
DADHAVEYOUJUSTLOSTYOURWAY!
MOMREPRESSED,CONFUSEDORGAY!
MOM/DADFORONCEINYOURLIFEGIVEMATURITYAWHIRLOOH,OOH,OOHMOMSOMUCHAWAITINGYOUDADSOGETONWITHMATING,YOU!
MOM/DADWHAT'SWRONGWITHHERSHESEEMSLIKESUCHANICEGIRL!
BUTWEDON'TMEANTOPRYRELAX,YOUHAPPYGUYADULTHOOD'SNOTASCRUCIALASITSEEMS.
FORGRANDKIDSWECANWAITNONEEDTOPROCREATEWHOCARESIFYOU'VEDESTROYEDYOURPARENT'SDREAMS.
(Toher)BIGCAREERGIRL.
(Tohim)WAYWARDSON.
(Toher)FUTURESPINSTER.
(Tohim)DISAPPOINTMENT.
(Raisingtheirglasses)HERE'STOYOU!
SATISFACTIONGUARANTEED(WOMANandMANinbed.
Wehearthelastsoundsoforgasmicbliss.
Hehowlslikeawolf.
)叫床之后,男翻身下女,先躺下,挺一把+OHYEAH!
MAN(Withgreatconfidence)So看女--howwasI搂女soproudsoproudWOMANOh--youwere--good.
苦闷中,但是装作还可以,鼓励男人MANYoumeangoodOrunbelievablesohigh,,脖子向后转,最后看回女WOMANOhstopit!
Ican'ttakeitanymore!
You看男wereterrible咬牙切齿!
Ididn'tgetanypleasure委屈!
Notonlydidn'ttheearthmove,thebed左手打床barelyrocked!
Oh,冥想,坐起来一点,期盼中.
.
.
IwishtherewassomethingIcoulddoaboutit.
(SPOKESMANenters.
)SPOKESMAN突然站起来,语速很快,推销员,sharp,音调高Hello.
夫妻吓了一大跳,往中后看,往后躲吃惊的表情,Didyoueverwishyoucouldsuesomeonebecausetheydidn'tsatisfyyousexuallyWellgoodnews--nowyoucan夫妻happy先看观众,转回来对着惊喜的点头!
spoke往外走,走到台左AtJacoby&Meyers&Masters&Johnson,wehavealargestaffofsexually-experiencedattorneyswhowanttogetintoyourbedroomandgetyoutheorgasmyoudeserve!
Let'stakealookatatypicalcoupleengagedinlovemaking.
WOMAN回原来体位,男照女说的做.
.
不耐烦,男人声调变(Veryannoyed)Lower--higher--lower--higher--MANOw!
Watchyourknees!
之后男人翻下来WOMANOw!
下来后泻气.
.
.
憋气纠结生气状.
看观众SPOKESMANNotveryappealing,andalltoofamiliar.
Nowlet'stakealookatthesamecouplewithaJacoby&Meyers&Masters&Johnsonattorneypresent.
(ATTORNEYpopsoutofthebed.
)ATTORNEYI'msorry,Mr.
Elliot,butyourcontractstatesyoumustbenibblingherneck.
男开始回体位AndMs.
Courtland,hisfeetmustbefondled.
WOMAN/MANRight,right,right.
.
.
ms真的有用似的(MANandWOMANperformtheirrequiredtasks)Oh--oh--OHHH!
越来越high.
.
这样做—原来!
--爽!
!
!
男人最后一声翻下来,作爽状SPOKESMANSeehoweasyitiswhenyouletano-nonsenselitigatorhandlethenegotiationsoflovemaking开始走Yourinitialconsultationisjust$25夫妻happyandbesurprised/.
Andyourfeecouldbeaportionofyoursettlement,shouldyourpartnerfailtosatisfyyourfetishes.
WOMAN(Holdingupahugecheck)Igotfivethousanddollarsbecausehemissedmy'G'spot!
MAN(Holdingupahugecheck)AndIgottenthousanddollarsbecauseshewouldn'tgodownonme!
音调高,拉长以上两句话都很贱SPOKESMANAtJacoby&Meyers&Masters&Johnson,ifyourpartnerdoesn'tgetyouoff,wegetyoumoney!
夫妻贱贱得点头"CANTATAFORAFIRSTDATE"REPRISE#1CLERGYMAN/-WOMANCHURCHBELLS,WEDDINGDAYDATINGHELL,GONEAWAYGROOM/BRIDE往前走直线WHATI'VEDREAMED,ALLMYLIFESOONTOBEMANANDWIFECLERGYMAN/-WOMAN牧男女向前夫妻拐向台中LOOKATTHEM,FILLEDWITHPRIDEHAPPYGROOM,BLUSHINGBRIDE握手GROOM/BRIDETAKEABREATH,FLASHASMILE,HEREWEGO,DOWNTHEAISLE"WEDDINGVOWS"CLERGYMAN女看男LADIESANDGENTLEMEN,WEHAVEGATHEREDHEREUNDER指下GODABOVE–指上CLERGYWOMANTOBEARWITNESSTOTHISMANANDTHISWOMAN--按歌词两手分别指男女,按节奏抖三抖CLERGYMAN/-WOMANASTHEYVOWTHEIRETERNAL响指四个,里外里外ALLLOVE–包围造型CLERGYMAN对观众(ToGROOM)DOYOUSWEARDOYOUSWEARTOLOVEANDHONORGROOMYEAH,ISWEARCLERGYMANTHENYOURBACHELORHOOD'SAGONER-ASAHUSBANDNOWYOU'LLHAVEALOTOFCHORES牧男往前探之后转回背对观众,扭GROOMOhJesus–对观众说,被新娘拉回,不好意思地笑CLERGYWOMAN(ToBRIDE)DOYOUSWEARISYOURLOVEFORHIMWHOLE-HEARTENBRIDEYEAH,ISWEARCLERGYWOMAN-THENYOURFREEDOMJUSTDEPARTEDANDREMEMBERNOWHISFAMILYISYOURSBRIDEOhmyGod!
同理,被手挡回GROOM牧男往前DOISWEARCLERGYMANTHESEXWILLNEVERBEASGREAT!
BRIDE牧女转回来DOIVOWCLERGYWOMANIBETHEGAINSATONOFWEIGHT!
GROOM/BRIDEWHO'STHISSTRANGERSTANDINGNEXTTOME头转向观众,唱完后撒手,被牧师们推回到一起CLERGYMAN/-WOMANDOYOUSWEARGROOMPERHAPSISHOULD'VEBEENMORECAUTIOUSCLERGYMAN/-WOMANDOYOUVOWBRIDEHERECOMESTHEBRIDEANDSHEISNAUSEOUSALLISTHISREALLY四人头冲观众WHATYOUWANTYOURLIFETOBE包围造型夫妻冲破包围跑向台两侧(GROOMtriestoescapewhileBRIDEmakespleatoanaudiencemember.
)CLERGYMAN/-WOMANBRIDE(overlapping)overlapping)DOTHEYSWEAR牧师们扭,老公屁股冲外吐,老婆打电话Hi,Iwaswonderingifyouhaveacar.
IneedaDOTHEYVOW牧师们换位子riderightnow.
I'mverylittle.
I'lljustsqueezeinthebackseat,c'mon,helpme!
THECHURCHISLOCKED指外面THERE'SNOWHEREYOUCANRUN牧师们换回来,,找夫夫妻ALLIT'SYOURSPECIALDAY--AIN'TWEHAVING'FUN牧师向夫妻说理CLERGYMAN/-WOMANANDREMEMBERIT'SFOREVER往中间推ANDFOREVERANDFOREVERANDFOREVERISAREALLYLONGLONGTIME!
推一把,顺势一扶.
拉手BRIDE/GROOMCLERGYMAN/-WOMAN回到原来位置ANDREMEMBERIT'SFOREVERDOYOUSWEARANDFOREVERANDFOREVERDOYOUVOWANDFOREVERISAREALLYLONG,LONGTIMETELLUSHERE!
TELLUSNOW!
CLERGYMAN/-WOMANDOYOUBRIDE/GROOMDOWECLERGYMAN/-WOMANDOYOUBRIDE/GROOMDOWECLERGYMAN/-WOMANDOYOU!
以上各种do.
牧师们都一句一斗,指夫妻BRIDE/GROOM(verysoft)WEDO.
.
牧师听(growingstronger)WEDO–军体拳(theylookateachother)WEDO!
CLERGYMAN/-WOMANTHEYDO!
指夫妻ALLOH,GOD!
咸蛋超人!
ENDOFACTIACTTWO(LIGHTSUPonBRIDEandGROOM.
)"CANTATAFORAFIRSTDATE"REPRISE#2两侧,女左男右BRIDE/GROOMHEREWEGO,SACREDKISSSTARTTHECLOCK,WEDDEDBLISSGROOMBUYAHOME,MOWTHELAWNSECOND-MORTGAGEOVERDRAWNBRIDEREPRODUCE,LABORPAINSKIDS,WORK,BALL-AND-CHAINSBRIDE/GROOMTRAPPED,BROKE,GROWINGDULLCHANGEDMYMIND,MUSTANNUL(MUSICshiftstoareggaebeat.
)BRIDETHENAGAIN–转头,身不转GROOMTHENAGAIN–转头,身buzhuanBRIDE/GROOM伸单手IWANTHIM/(HER)SO走起HE/(SHE)HOLDMYHANDAND伸双手向前走MYLOVEOVERFLOW抓住,换位置,男后女前NOWWESAILIN'看观众ONACRUISETOMEXICOHONEYMOON-TIME,LET'SGO往台左走,停下作桃心,拉单手HONEYMOON-TIME,LET'SGOHONEYMOON-TIME,LET'SGO男撤女抛(AstheyexittheBRIDEtossesherbouquet.
ItiscaughtbyaBRIDESMAID,whohasjustentered,wearingabridesmaiddressofquestionabletaste.
)BRIDESMAIDYoulooksogreat!
Everythingwassobeautiful,likeadream!
--No,Ilovemydress,I'msureI'llwearitagain--HaveagreattimeinCancun!
Bye-bye!
(MUSICstarts,acountry-westernballad.
)"ALWAYSABRIDESMAID,NEVERABRIDE"BRIDESMAIDWELLI'VEWALKEDDOWNTHEAISLEASMUCHASLIZTAYLORBUTI'VEALWAYSBEENOFFTOTHESIDEEACHBRIDEHASMEDRESSEDINAGOWNTHATIDETESTALWAYSABRIDESMAID,NEVERABRIDEFORCATLIN,IWORESATINWHICHILOOKEDREALLYFATINTHENAGAIN,YOUSHOULDHAVESEENHERMANKENALLTHOSECALORIESHELOGGEDUPTILLHISARTERIESCLOGGEDUPHEDIEDONTHECOUCHWATCHINGE.
S.
P.
NTOOMANYWEDDINGSTOOMANYDRESSESTHATALLMAKEMYHIPSLOOKSOWIDENOTAGOWN,I'DRE-USEDITTO,THEMATCHINGSHOESALWAYSABRIDESMAID,NEVERABRIDEFORTABITHA,IWORETAFFETAYOUSHOULDNEVER,PEOPLELAUGH-AT-YABUTIHADAHUNCH,HERMARRIAGEWASDOOMEDTHEGROOMTRIEDTOSTROKEMEWHILEWEDANCED,THEHOKEY-POKEYTHEYDIVORCEDBEFORETHEHONEYMOONONCEMYGOWNWASVELOUR-ISHMADEMELOOKKINDAWHORE-ISHBUTMYBESTFRIENDDELORESWASNEVERQUITESANESHESHOTHERNEWMISTER'CAUSEHEBEDDEDHERSISTERHE'SNOTDEAD,BUTNOWHEWALKSLIKEJOHNWAYNETOOMANYWEDDINGSTOOMANYDRESSESTHATALLMAKEMELOOKSOTHICK-THIGHEDMYFRIENDSCAN'TASSESSAMANORADRESSALWAYSABRIDESMAID,NEVERABRIDEBRIDESMAID(Cont.
)WHENILOOKINMYCLOSETTHERE'SARAINBOWDEPOSITOFGOWNSSOGROTESQUETHATIGROANALLTHOSEHUSBANDSAREGONEBUTTHOSEDRESSESLIVEONEVENMOTHSSEEMTOLEAVETHEMALONETOOMANYWEDDINGSTOOMANYMESSESBUTATLEASTI'VEHUNGONTOMYPRIDEI'VELIVEDLIFEALONEBUTTHETERMSAREMYOWNALWAYSABRIDESMAID,--Thankyou,Lord.
--NEVERABRIDE.
WHATEVERHAPPENEDTOBABY'SPARENTS(FRANK&MARIEsinga"pattycakes"song.
Aknockonthedoor.
FRANKanswersit,lettinginFRED.
)FRANKFred!
开门后退一步再说,音调高一些,无良状frank—fred--marieFREDHiya,Frank.
FRANKSogoodtoseeye,buddy!
转向marie,同时带入fred,,MOMMY,FRED'SHERE!
MARIEOhthereyouare,stranger!
FRED(Extendingagiantteddybear.
)IboughtthisforFrankJr.
对frank说,直接给之,然后坐MARIEOhisn'tthatsweet,honeyFRANKSweet,sweet,sweet!
拧动MARIEMakesuretheeyesdon'tbiteoff,honey.
(AsFRANKtriestobiteoffthebear'seyes)SoFred,Fred,Fred,此时fred已经outofmind了.
.
叫醒,他傻了.
.
howareyouFRED(StaringincredulouslyatFRANK)Uh--I'mhangingin--HowareyouguysFRANKNo,they'reonthere,Mommy.
MARIEMakesurethestuffingcan'tfallout.
(FRANKviolentlybashestheteddyagainstthefloor.
)MARIE(Cont.
)OhFrankandIjustcouldn'tbemoreblissful!
didn'tevenreallyknowwhatblisswasuntil.
.
.
FRANKIt'schildproof,Mommy!
MARIE腿部姿态Thenwhatalovelypresent!
SoFred,Fred,Fred,tellus:anybodynewinyourlifeFRED保持吃惊的表情,勿太动I'vebeendating--noonespecial.
.
.
FRANK/MARIEAWWWWWW!
!
!
儿童节腔,同时frank接近fred坐下,把熊放到一边FREDNo,I'mfine,I.
.
.
MARIEm和frank对着fred说,fred接下来越来越惊恐AhFred,therewasatimewhenallweusedtodowas--FRANK--setupoursinglefriends.
MARIEButsincewe'vehad--FRANK--FrankJr.
--MARIE--it'sbeenalldirtydiapers--FRANK腻歪一点--dirty,dirtydi-di!
MARIE--andbreast-feeding--FRANK--slurpie,slurpie,slurpie!
MARIEAndwho'shadthetime!
FREDOhIcanjustimagine.
.
.
FRANKFREEZE!
要freeze调,张开手,,marie马上跟上FRED(Verystartled)WHAT!
两人左倾,手放身,失望FRANKWasthathim(FRANKandMARIEimmediatelygrabnearbywalkie-talkies.
Theyhearnobabysounds,andtheyshaketheirheadsinrelief.
)FREDHey,canIgoinand此时起身lookMARIEOh压位,动作要大,he'sjustsleepingnow--FRANK对fred说,fred要转脸Thoughwe'dloveyouto--MARIEWedon'twanttodisturbhimFRANK同上Thoughwe'dloveyouto--MARIEHey,how'boutwatchingsomeslides,insteadfrank激动动作FRANK慢Whataswellidea!
It'sallsetup!
FRANK/MARIESay"yes!
"Say"yes!
"Say"yes!
"注意配合FREDUh--yes.
.
.
MARIE对电视方向(Clickingaremote)Okay,here'sFrankJr.
–注意节奏勿块FRANK接下来,fred开始一直不舒服Gettingintothecarforthefirsttime.
.
.
MARIE(Clickingaremote)Andhere'sFrankJr.
--FRANKGoingonacarrideforthefirsttime.
.
.
MARIE(Clickingaremote)Andhere'sFrankJr.
--FRANKThrowingupinthecarforthefirsttime.
.
.
fred开始惊恐了///MARIE(Clickingaremote)Andhere'sFrankJr.
--FRANKGettinghisfirsthorseyride.
.
.
MARIEHoneyFRANKYes,honeyMARIEfred开始"与我无关"的往后退Yousaid,"horsey.
"FRANKNo!
小孩"逃错"的表情接下俩,小孩吵吵敢,,,,MARIEYes!
FRANKNo!
MARIEYes!
FRANKNo!
MARIEYes!
MARIE/FRANKFred配合.
.
.
.
FRED(Incredulously)Yousaid,"horsey",Frank.
大音量FRANK(Veryexcited)I'mbeginningtotalktoadultslikeItalkto–更兴奋FRANK/MARIE--FrankJr!
夸张而大,要对好词MARIEFREEZE手耳动作,注意节奏WASTHATHIM!
(Theylistentotheirwalkie-talkies,thenshaketheirheads"no.
")FREDAnyway,"colourful"soIhaven'thadmuchluckfindingajob.
.
.
MARIEWait!
Brainstorm!
风暴感情,气场要大,盖过他FRANKWhat!
反映强烈MARIEYouknowwhatFredshoulddoFRANKWhat!
MARIEBecomeasingledaddyandadoptababy!
FRANKMommy,you'reagenius!
Fingerkiss!
FREDWhywouldI--FRANKYouknow,Fred,beforeImetMarie–向左说MARIEIwashalfaperson--FRANKAndIwashalfaperson--MARIEButthen此时脸朝前wegotmarried--FRANK/MARIEAndnowwe'reawhole.
FRANKButthenwehadFrankJr.
,andIrealized--MARIE--what--FRANK--Iwasactuallyonlyone-thirdofaperson,andMariewasonlyone-thirdofaperson,andFrankJr.
isone-thirdofaperson,andnow,we'rereallyawhole.
甜蜜阿.
.
.
.
MARIE(Veryemotional)Thankyouforfertilizingmyegg.
开始抱抱FRANKThankyouforbeingfruitfulandmultiplying.
MARIEThankyouforhavingadecentspermcount.
FRANKThankyoufor.
.
.
FREDFREEZE!
FRANK/MARIEWHAT!
FREDWasthathim!
Mommybettergocheck!
Go-go-go--FRANKgo,go,go,go.
.
.
(MARIErushesoff)FRED站起来时说Frank–路过frank时说I'mouttahere,man!
FRANK紧接着Wait!
fred转身I'vegotsonograms!
Frank追过去FREDFrank,rememberwhenyouusedtobe--interesting.
Youusedtohaveinterestingthoughtsaboutlife,love,work!
Butnow,Frank--"horsey",注意引号的感觉Frank.
Youunderstandme,buddy(FREDshadow-boxeshim.
FRANKrespondswithapatty-cakesgesture.
)转身走FRED(Cont.
)Callmewhenhegraduatescollege,Frank.
(FREDexits.
MUSICstarts,alullaby:)"THEBABYSONG"FRANKAh,dewittlebaby--Ah,debittlewaby--WELLIDREADTHATI'MREGRESSINGWITHMYHEADTHISBABY'SMESSINGWEEBADWEEBADOOBADABBYDOOONCEIBECAMEAPARENTIBECAMEQUITEINCOHERENTMAMAMAMADADAWOOHOOHOOWHENI'MHURTIGETABOO-BOOWHENISLEEPITAKEASU-SUNAPPYNAPPYNAPPYSLEEPYSWOOINTHECAR,IGO"VROOM,VROOM,VROOM!
"INTHEJOHN,IMAKEABOOM-BOOMWOPPAWOPPAWOPPAPOOPOOPOOCANISTOPTHISGODIWISHIT'CAUSEISOUNDJUSTLIKEADIPSHITYEEHAYEEHAYEEHABOOBYBOOFRANK(Cont.
)NOWIHEARMYBABYCRY-CRYSOIT'STIMETHATIGOBYE-BYEDOOBADABBYDEEBYDUBBYWEEBAWOOBY--WOO.
SEXANDTHEMARRIEDCOUPLE(AnexhaustedMARLENEslumpsherselfonthecouch.
DAVE,equallyexhausted,entersandplopshimselfdownnexttoher.
Theybothwearratty,end-of-the-dayclothes.
)DAVEYoucalltheexterminatortodayMARLENEYeah.
YoupaytheVisabillDAVEYeah.
YougetthebrakesfixedontheSuburuMARLENEYeah.
YougetthetransmissionfixedontheCelicaDAVEYeah.
YoucalltheinsurancecompanyabouttheroofMARLENEYeah.
YoumailinthemortgageDAVEYeah.
YougetyourmotherinherroomMARLENEYeah.
YougettheboysinbedDAVEYeah.
MARLENEYeahHowDAVEIpromisedthematriptoDisneyWorld.
MARLENEJustforgoingtobedDAVEIwasexhausted.
Theywerethrowingthegoldfishateachother.
Itjustcameout.
Ifigurewewaitacouplemonths,thentellthemitburneddown.
(DAVE,withgreat,wearyeffort,rises.
)Well,Igottabundlethenewspapers,thenI'mgoingtobed.
MARLENEHey,honeyDAVEYeahMARLENEYou--youwantmetocomeDAVENaw,Icanbundlethepapersmyself.
MARLENENo,Imeantobed.
(AMUSICbeat.
)DAVE(Hestops)Oh.
It'sonly9:45.
(AMUSICbeat.
)Hey,hey,hey.
ReallyMARLENEIdunno.
YafeellikeDAVEIcouldbundletomorrow.
MARLENEYeahDAVEYeah.
(AMUSICbeat.
MARLENErushestowardshimthenabruptlystops.
)MARLENEWait!
Igottathrowinthefabricsoftener!
(MARLENErushesoff.
MUSICstarts,atango.
)"MARRIAGETANGO"DAVEITUCKEDINBOTHTHEBOYSANDIPUTAWAYTHEIRTOYSSOTONIGHTI'LLFEELTHEJOYSOFBEINGWEDIPUTAWAYEACHSMURFANDTHEFOOTBALLSMADEOFNERFSOTONIGHTTHISDADDY'STURFWILLBEHISBEDICLEANEDUPLEGOSANDGORILLASNINJATURTLESANDGODZILLASANDONELARGETYRANNOSAURUSREXNOWWHOWOULD'VEGUESSEDBUTSOONI'LLBEUNDRESSEDI'MMARRIEDANDI'MGONNAHAVESEX!
ZACHARY(O.
S.
)Dad!
Tylerthrewupinbed!
(DAVEdashesoffasMARLENEdasheson,wearinglingerieoverherrattyshirt.
)MARLENEILAIDOUTTHEIRSCHOOLCLOTHESANDTHELEFTOVERSIFROZESOI'MREADYTOEXPOSEMYACHINGBUSTIWALKEDTHESAINTBERNARDLETTHECATOUTINTHEYARDNOWWATCHMOMMYWORKREALHARDWITHLOTSOFLUSTIPICKEDUPBATMAN,PEZANDSLINKIESPOWERRANGERS,TROLLSANDTWINKIESG.
I.
JOESWITHMUSCLESTHATFLEXNOWWHOWOULD'VEKNOWNBUTSOONI'LLHEARMEMOANI'MMARRIEDANDI'MGONNAHAVESEX(DAVErushesbackin,wearingbikinibriefsoverhissweatpants.
)MARLENEOHTHEREWASATIMEDAVETHEREWASATIMEMARLENE/DAVEWHENOURNIGHTSWEREFILLEDWITHPASSIONSODEEPOHTHEHEIGHTSWEWOULDCLIMBBUTNOWWHENIT'SDARK,WE'DMUCHRATHERSLEEPButnottonight!
TYLER(O.
S.
)Mom,I'mcaughtintheheadboard!
(MARLENErushesoff.
)DAVETHECAR'SINTHEGARAGEMYLIBIDO'SGROWINGLARGEANDSOONIWILLDISCHARGEMYMANLYSPELLZACHARY(O.
S.
)Dad,mylizardescaped!
(DAVErushesoffasMARLENErusheson,wearingmorelingerie.
)MARLENEICOOKEDDINNERINTHEWOKIWASHEDEVERYSHIRTANDSOCKSOTONIGHTI'MGONNAROCK'NROLLLIKEHELL(DAVErusheson,wearingfootballshoulderpads.
)MARLENE/DAVEWEPLAYEDWITHPLAYDOHANDNINTENDOWEWATCHED"DUMBO"TOTHEEND,OHNOWIT'STIMEFORFUNTHAT'SRATEDXWEALMOSTDIDN'TMAKEITBUTSOONWE'LLBOTHBENAKEDDAVEWE'REMARRIEDMARLENEWE'REMARRIEDMARLENE/DAVEANDWE'REGONNAHAVE--BURNING,YEARNINGWHEEZING,SQUEEZINGGAUDY,NAUGHTYHEAVING,CLEAVINGGOODOLD-FASHIONED.
.
.
TYLER/ZACHARY(O.
S.
)Mom!
Dad!
Thelizard'seatingtheguppies!
(Theythinkforamoment,then:)DAVE/MARLENELet'em!
SEX!
THEFAMILYTHATDRIVESTOGETHER.
.
.
(HUSBANDandWIFEenterandstandnexttotheircar.
)WIFEOkay,wegotthewine,wegotthedessert--here,holdthemoussecake--wegotthedirections,wegotthecard--Isignedit,yousignedit,thekidssignedit--theansweringmachine'son,theoven'soff,thealarm'son,thetoaster'soff.
Thebackdoor'slocked,thesidedoor'slocked,thewindowsarelocked.
NOAH!
EMMA!
WE'RELEAVING!
Iunpluggedtheiron,I--Ohmigod!
IleftonMr.
Coffee!
(Reachinginhispockets)Housekeys(Retrievingthem)Waithere.
(Sherunsoff.
MUSICstarts.
)"ONTHEHIGHWAYOFLOVEYOU'REDRIVINGMEINSANE"HUSBANDINMYHOME,I'MNOTTHEBOSSWITHMYKIDS,I'MATALOSSMYLIFESEEMSCLOSEBUTNOCIGARI'VEBEENJILTEDBYMYLUCKYSTARWELL,THANKGODATLEASTI'VEGOTMY--CAR(WIFEenterswithEMMA,age10,andNOAH,age11.
ALLgetinthecar.
)(MUSICshiftstorock'nroll.
)WIFEOkay,everyonein.
Okay,I'llkeepthemoussecakeonmylap.
Readywhenyouare.
(ToKIDS)Andnofighting!
(HUSBANDbackscaroutofthedriveway.
)HUSBANDWHENI'MDRIVINGI'MTHEKINGOFMYDOMAINWIFECarefulpullingout--HUSBANDWHENI'MDRIVINGI'MABEASTWITHOUTACHAINWIFESlow,slow,we'renotinahurry--HUSBANDWHENI'MDRIVINGI'MAFORCEYOUCAN'TRESTRAINWIFEPutonyourblinker.
Peoplearen'tmindreaders.
HUSBANDBUTONTHEHIGHWAYOFLOVESHE'SDRIVINGMEINSANEWIFEKEEPYOUREYESONTHEROADHUSBANDKEEPYOURTHOUGHTSINYOURHEADWIFEKEEPYOURHANDSONTHEWHEELHUSBANDSHUTYOURMOUTHORYOURDEADWIFEISHOULD'VETAKENACABHUSBANDYOUSHOULD'VETAKENAPILLHUSBAND/WIFEWHENAUTOMOBILINGWE'RENOTTOOAPPEALINGEMMA/NOAHWHENTHEY'REDRIVINGWEGETALARGEMIGRAINEHUSBANDYouknowsomuch!
(Releasingthewheel)Youtakethewheel!
WIFENo!
EMMA/NOAHONTHEHIGHWAYOFLOVETHEY'REDRIVINGUSINSANEHUSBAND(TOAUDIENCE)Ladiesandgentlemen,mywife,amerepassengerinmymachine,seemstothinkit'sherjobtoshareherrelentlessopinionswiththepilot.
ButrememberthoseJamesBondmoviesTheoneswithallthosecoolcarswiththoseejectorseats--allI'msayingis:GeneralMotorscouldmakeafortune.
Ithankyouverymuch.
WIFE(ToAUDIENCE)Youknow,myhusbandhasaheavyfoot,whichgoesalongwithhisheavyhead.
Youwouldthinkhewouldviewdrivingasasimplemeansofgettingfromsomewheretosomewhereelse.
Instead,hemustviewitasariteofmanhood,atestoftestosterone.
Ifyouaskme,it'snocoincidencethatthestickshiftisshapedlikethemalesexorgan.
Ithankyou.
WIFEATHOMEWEDON'TFIGHTHUSBANDATHOMEWEDON'TYELLHUSBAND/WIFEBUTONCEWESTARTTHECARTHEMARRIAGEGOESTOHELLNOAHEMMAWIFEDad,Igottapee!
ArewethereyetMyGod,you'regonnahitthattruck!
Igottapee!
ArewethereyetHUSBANDWouldyouallshutup!
ALLWE'RELOSINGOURGRIPONTHISFAMILYTRIPWHENWE'REDRIVINGOURFIGHTSAREHIGH-OCTANEWIFEThismanistryingtokillme!
ALLWHENWE'REDRIVINGWE'REOBNOXIOUSANDPROFANEHUSBANDGoddammit,don'tmakemestopthiscar!
ALLWHENWE'REDRIVINGWE'REINALOTOFPAINNOAHWe'regrowingupdysfunctional!
ALLONTHEHIGHWAYOFLOVEHUSBAND/WIFEWESCREAMTILLWE'REHOARSEALLONTHEHIGHWAYOFLOVEEMMA/NOAHTHEYOUGHTAGETADIVORCEALLONTHEHIGHWAYOFLOOOOOVEWIFEOkay,thatwasn'tsobad.
(WIFEandKIDSpileoutofthecarandexit.
)Allright,youlockthecar--I'lltakethemoussecake--Noah,Emma,makesureyoukissallyourrelatives--anddon'ttellanyonethey'regettingfat!
HUSBAND(ToAUDIENCE)-Hey,madegoodtime.
FOREVERSHALLIREIGNOH,YEAH!
(Tohiscar)Loveya,babe.
"WAITING"(MARKsits,enrapturedbythetelevision.
)CONNIE(Off-stage)Honey!
(Noresponse)HONEY!
MARKWhat!
CONNIEHOWMUCHTIMELEFTBEFOREHALFTIME!
MARKThirty-twoseconds!
CONNIETHIRTY-TWOREALLIFESECONDSORTHIRTY-TWOFOOTBALLSECONDSMARKThirty-twofootballseconds!
(CONNIEenters.
)CONNIEOhright,we'reinoneofthosetime-out,instant-replay,slow-motionsituations.
Yes.
Iunderstand.
AfterallI'veworkedhardtolearnaboutfootball,honey,'causeIknowyoulikeit.
AndIdofinditveryinteresting.
Yes,itisveryinterestingthewaythey--youknow--runupanddownthefieldchasingeachother.
Yes,thatcanbefascinating.
SohowmuchtimeisleftMARKThirty-twoseconds.
CONNIEStillthirty-two.
.
.
Honey,youevernoticehowmyentireweekendisspentwaitingforyouYou-youevernoticethatWaiting,waiting,waiting--waiting.
(GUYenters,slumping,exhausted,burdenedwithshoppingbags.
)(MUSICSTARTS--theblues.
)GUYWaiting,waiting.
.
.
WECAMETOBUYSHOESLIKESHENEEDSMORESHOES!
BUTSOFARWEHAVEN'TBEENTHROUGHTHESHOEDEPARTMENTIWASDRAGGEDHEREIWASNAGGEDHERENOWSHE'SLEFTME(Holdsupahandbag)HOLDINGTHEBAGHERENAILEDUPHEREINMACY'SHAVEN'TSEENTHEWIFESINCENOONJAILEDUPHEREINMACY'SIHOPEI'MPAROLEDREALSOONTWITCHINGHEREINMACY'SLORD,CAN'TIESCAPESOMEHOWBITCHINGHEREINMACY'SWON'TSOMEONEJUST--SHOOTMENOW(Talkstounseenwife)Honey!
Lookatme,honey!
Iknowyoucanhearme,honey!
Howmuchlongeryougonnabe--Ohhh,waiting,waiting.
.
.
(FOCUSon:SAMANTHA,whorusheson.
MUSICCHANGES--arelentlesspattersong.
)SAMANTHAC'monladies!
Ihaven'tgotallday!
MYBLADDER'SBURSTINGANDI'MSTUCKHEREONLINEAGAINTHISLINEISENDLESSANDIDRANKTOOMUCHWINEAGAINHOWCOMEMENNEVERHAVETOPUTUPWITHALLTHIS!
THESITUATIONCOULDNOTBEMUCHCLEARERNOWINEEDATOILETANDINEEDAMIRRORNOWISHALLREFUSETOLETSUCHINJUSTICEEXIST!
SAMANTHA(Cont.
)I'MAWOMANIGOTTAPEEANDI'MPISSED(FOCUSonCONNIEandGUY.
MUSICCHANGES--backtoblues.
)GUYSHE'SSHOPPINGCONNIETHIRTY-TWOMORESECONDSGUYI'MDROPPINGNOTHIN'AMANCANDOBUTWEEPSHE'SBUYINGCONNIETHIRTY-TWOMORESECONDSGUYI'MDYING,NOTHIN''BOUTMARRIAGECOMESCHEAP(FOCUSonALL.
BLUESandPATTERmix.
)SAMANTHA(OVERLAPPING)THESITUATIONISI'MGONNAEXPLODERIGHTNOW--MYBLADDER'SBURSTINGANDI'MGONNAEXPLODERIGHTNOW--THESITUATIONISI'MGONNAEXPLODE--GUY(OVERLAPPING)SHE'SSHOPPING--I'MDROPPING--CONNIE(OVERLAPPING)THIRTY-TWOMORESECONDS--ALLTHISWAITING'SAPPALLING--SAMANTHAANDNATUREISCALLING--ALLHOWLONGMUSTTHISSTALLINGPERSISTCONNIEI'MAHEADCASEWAITINGFORHIM--GUYWAITINGFORHER--SAMANTHAIGOTTAPEE-(Callingintothemen'sroom)Allright,boys'zipup,I'mcominginandI'mnotveryhappy!
ALLANDI'MPISSED!
(MANandWOMANsing:)"CANTATAFORAFIRSTDATE"REPRISE#3HE/SHEGETTINGOLD,GROWINGGRAYKIDSHAVEALL,MOVEDAWAYHEREWEARE,ALLALONEOHMYGOD,TIMEHASFLOWNSHEWEDDINGDAY,JUSTABLURHEWHYDIDI,MARRYHERHE/SHEALLTHEYEARS,WE'VEBEENTHROUGHONCEAGAIN,WHOAREYOU音乐,放报纸,边想边放"SHOULDN'TIBELESSINLOVEWITHYOU"(Breakfast.
AHUSBANDandWIFE,inabathrobeandslippers,wearilyenter.
Withoutacknowledgingtheother,theymechanicallyfollowtheirmorningroutine:Theyeachtakeacupofcoffeeandhalfofanewspaper.
Afteramoment,helooksup.
MUSICSTARTS,aballad.
)HUSBAND转头向观众THEEXPERTSSAYITDOESNOTLASTTHEEXPERTSSAYIT'SFLEETING转身向观众THEEXPERTSBRAYLOVEFADESSOFASTTHENTELLMEWHYISMYHEARTSTILLBEATINGSHOULDN'TIBELESS夫桌子站起来INLOVEWITHYOU看女回来看观众SHOULDN'TIADDRESSWHATTIMECANDOSHOULDN'TIBEMOREINCLINEDTOFLEESHOULDN'TIEXPLOREALLICANBESHOULDN'TICONFESS偏向下台口,冥想状ASORDIDFLINGSHOULDN'TICARESS偏向女人的方向ACUTEYOUNGTHINGSHOULDN'TIASSESSWHATWE'VEBEENTHROUGHSHOULDN'TIBELESSINLOVEWITHYOU看女,夫桌子手推起自己,走到女前AFTERTHIRTYYEARSTOGETHER转向桌子ALLTHOSEBRUTALFIGHTSTHOSEFUTILEFIGHTSTHENTHESLEEPLESSNIGHTS摸HUSBAND(Cont.
)想,退,绕到女后,扶椅背SHOULDN'TIHAVEQUIT'CAUSEMARRIAGEENDS看女SHOULDN'TWEHAVESPLITLIKEALLOURFRIENDS对观众SHOULDN'TIPROFESSIT'STIMETOGO双手展开往后退到女后SHOULDN'TIBELESSINLOVEWITHYOU看女一眼抬双手---no走回椅子,看一眼,坐,拿报纸音乐停(WIFElooksup.
)WIFEWhat从报纸上看说nothing(Heshakeshishead,"nothing",andtheygobacktotheirnewspapers.
)THEVERYFIRSTDATINGVIDEOOFROSERITZ(ROSEsits,asaVIDEOOPERATORsetsupavideocamera.
)VIDEOOPERATOROkay,justbeyourself,don'tbenervousandremembertosmile.
(VIDEOOPERATORexits.
ROSEspeaksintothecamera.
)ROSEHello.
I'mRoseCarboni.
No!
Ritz!
RoseRitz!
That'sit.
RoseRitz.
Yes.
Carboniwasmyhusband'sname.
Buthe'sdead.
Whoops!
Actually,he'snotreallydead,we'redivorced.
Ijustprefertothinkofhimasdead,cheersmerightup.
Ohmygosh,didIjustdothat!
HereIam,makingmyveryfirstdatingvideo--that'sright,thisistheveryfirstdatingvideoofRoseRitz!
--andI'malreadytellingallyoupotential--Mr.
VideoMen-Of-My-Dreamsoutthere-tellingallyouVideoMenthatI'mdivorced.
Goodmove,Rosie!
Butyes,I'mdivorced.
Iloveyouforever--not!
Divorced,divorced,divorced!
Butactually,canwenoteventalkaboutmydivorce.
Mydivorcewaslike--likeopenheartsurgerywithoutanesthesia.
Myinsideswerejustrippedout,mygutsonthefloor,andnoonebotheredtosedateme!
Well,wasn'tthatattractiveofmetosharewithyou.
Okay.
Ibetmyphoneisringingoffthehookalready!
Nowaboutmyself--well,I'vejusthadtore-entertheworkforceasatelemarketer.
BasicallyIcallpeopleup,trytosellthemsomethingandtheyhanguponme.
It'sveryfulfilling.
ROSE(Cont.
)Oh,andIjustenrolledinamagicclassatthehighschooladultschool.
Itwaseithermagicorastepaerobicsclass,andquitefrankly,magicseemedlessexhausting.
Andtobeevenmorefrank,Ithoughtit'dbeamorelikelyplacetomeetmen.
Unfortunately,theclassconsistsentirelyofdivorcedwomen,allhopingtomeetmen.
Yes,sevendivorcedwomenlearninghowtopullacoinfromachild'sear,whilenextdoortwenty-fivesinglemendostepaerobics.
Well,atleastI'mbackinthegame!
Oh,Ialmostforgot--I'vegotchildren!
Wellisn'tthatattractive.
SoMr.
VideoMan,Ihopeyoudon'thatechildren.
ThoughIdo.
Oh,Idon'thatemychildren,ofcourse!
Ihatetheconceptofhavingtoraisechildrenallbyyourselfafteryourdeadhusbandwalksoutonyourfortiethbirthday!
OhmyGod!
Ijusttoldyouheleftme,notvisaversa!
DAMAGEDGOODSALERT!
WhywouldherdeadhusbanddumpherandrunoffwithanolderwomanThat'sright,hehadamid-lifecrisisandhedidn'tevenhavethedecencytoleavemeforsomeoneyoungandprettyandfirm!
Heleftmeforasizeeighteenwithagrandchildandabadhip!
Sonowyou'rereallywonderingwhatiswrongwithRoseRitz!
WellyouknowwhatIdon'tcare,Mr.
VideoMan!
'CauseI'vestayedupmanyalatenightwithnothingtocomfortmeexceptmythirty-twoinchtelevisionandsentawayforallthosetapesfromallthoselate-nightinfomercialthings--TonyRobbins,RichardSimmons,allthosenutswhothinkthey'repsychic--andnowIbelieveinmyself!
Stoptheinsanity!
Dealameal!
I'mokay!
Andnow,afterfifteenyearsofwakingupnexttothesamebaldinglumpofdeadwood,RoseRitzisreadyandincontrolandhadtostopthecarthreetimestothrowuponthewaytothishumiliatingvideodatingsessionjustonthethousand-to-onechancethatmaybeshe'llmeetadecentguysoshedoesn'thavetobealonefortherestofherlife'causeherdeadhusbandleftherforalimpinggrandmother!
(Abeat)Nowarning.
"Ilovesomeonemore.
"Thenhejustleft.
Andthenitjuststopped.
Mylife.
Forthreedays,Ilaidinbed,andjuststopped.
ROSE(Cont.
)Andsomehow,hereIam--onthesixmonthanniversaryofthecollapseofmylife--Igotmyselfhere--tomaketheveryfirstdatingvideoofRoseRitz.
Sochooseme.
Mr.
VideoMan.
Please.
VIDEOOPERATORVOICEUhRose,Rose--Uh,wehaveallthatontape.
WhatdoyousaywetryitagainROSENo.
No.
That'sexactlywhatIwantedtosay.
FUNERALSAREFORDATING(SOLEMNMUSICisheard.
MURIEL,asolemnwomanaboutseventy,enters,paysherrespectstoanunseencorpse,andsits.
ARTHUR,alsoinhisseventiesbutmuchmorejovial,enters,glancesatthecorpse,shrugshisshoulders,andsits.
AshortsilenceasARTHURnoticesMURIEL.
)女先男后,先payrespect,先静止,男不认识死人,手里拿东西,女友男左,男从女前边走(停,不真看,对观众,想),坐身边,点头,男侧头多一点ARTHUR高兴TheMarkusviewing!
MURIELExcuseme淡定ARTHURFrankMarkus'老头状的想到,转头(老是慢半拍)可以拍膝盖什么的wake--Isawyouthere.
Alsoat--thememorialforHelenLuger同样!
Right.
MURIELI'msorry--doIknowyouARTHURYes,actuallyIthinkwewereintroducedatMauryGreenblatt's再同样funeral.
IsitMurielMURIELUh--yes.
ARTHURNicetoseeyouagain.
.
flirting,.
.
Muriel.
ArthurBeasley.
MURIEL(Veryunsure)Hello.
ARTHUR看女一眼,被打回去了.
.
So--thisseemslikeanicefuneral.
Who'sitforMURIELYoudon'tknowwhothedeceasedisARTHURNo,I'mhereforthe4:00viewing:McNulty.
I'malittleearly,justthought想,看四周,少倾向女it'dbenicetopaymyrespects.
MURIEL老妇女似的,大眼睛It'sforJudith伸手向男--ohmy,收回手,担心Idon'tknowhername.
男看女Ididn'tactuallynowher.
Ijust虚心无语得笑accompaniedmygirlfriend.
ARTHURThat'sniceofyou.
停顿后,突然说,想吃,迟疑WouldyoulikesomesalamiMURIEL小淑女,一直盯着salami,看苏一小眼后回来PardonARTHUR女保持惊讶状,不知所措,可以看看观众什么的(Removesasandwichfromhispocketandunwrapsit.
)IknewIwasearlyIbroughtalongasandwich.
Thesalami'sfreshfromSedano's,andIslicedsomefreshredpepperonfromthatnicelittledelithat'sverycleanonWashington.
IusuallybuythebreadfromWolfie'sbuttodayitdidn'tsmellsogoodsoIwenttotheW.
D.
TheynevergivemetherightchangeattheW.
D.
soIstartedfighting转向女,呆一下,之前一直没看她withthemanager.
.
.
(Hecan'thelpbutnoticeMURIEL'sstare.
)Ishouldn'teatthishere,shouldI(MURIELstillstares.
)无语啊.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
再摊摊手,,,废话Icanwait.
(Heputsitaway.
)HadtheviewingformySuehere--married43years.
往远看,思想活动:各种难过甜蜜MURIELHmm.
隔阂感减小,偏向男,轻低头ARTHURAndyou侧向女MURIELWhat出于礼貌不该问,不太乐意ARTHURYourhusbandIsthiswhereyouhadthewake看观众MURIEL看男HowwouldyouknowmyhusbandpassedawayARTHUR看女Justhadthatlookaboutyou.
MURIELWhatlook明知道whatlookARTHUR哲理一点Thatlookofsomeonewhohaslostthepersonthey'vespenttheirlifewith.
(Ashortsilence.
)MURIELMyJim'sviewingwasinRiversideGordon.
Twoyearsandacoupleofmonthsago.
ARTHUR慢慢点头RiversideGordonisnice.
Their看女,轻松一点seatsarenice.
MURIELYes.
点点头ARTHURSeeinganyone轻巧一点,萌一下MURIELExcuseme惊讶+小high.
.
.
被捧了.
.
ARTHURWasthattooforwardMURIELThisisawake.
Someonehasdied.
True,wedon'tknowwhosheis,still.
.
.
看一下四周ARTHURI'msorry.
Idon'tusuallydothis,Ijustseemtobegoingtoalotoftheselately.
Ijustliketotalk.
I'msorry.
MURIELIt'snotaproblem.
稍等下,再安慰Andyoushouldn'tgetyoursalamifromSedano's'causetheirbutcherdoesn'tlookcleantome.
Andifyougotoadeli,makesureit'sJewish,theyknowwhatadecentportionlookslike.
认真系教育中,男人很开心嘛,,ARTHUR穷追不舍,立刻说Wouldyoubeinterestedingettingacupofcoffeelater女欲言Ofcourse,you'dhavetohangaroundtillaftertheMcNultyviewing,butthey'renicepeople.
Theyprobablywon'tbeinthebestmood,指一下棺材but.
.
.
MURIELIsthisapick-up以为我不知道啊.
.
.
ARTHURNo,inorderforittoactuallybeapick-up,you'dhavetoagreetoadate.
Rightnow,it'sjustanattemptedpick-up.
(MURIELlooksathimforamoment,thenlaughs,andhejoinsin.
)Imadeherlaugh–用脑门说,向女倾(MURIELnoticesthatothersarestaringandquicklystops.
)MURIEL(Veryembarrassed,tonooneinparticular)Sorry.
.
.
sorry.
.
.
ARTHUR(Dismissingthestarers)Ah!
(Abeat)SoMuriel,howaboutitCupofcoffeewon'tkillya,pardontheexpression.
MURIELArthur,youseemlikeaniceman--youdo--butIdon'treallygooutlikeyou'reintendingNo,Ijustdon't–和善,准备发好人卡,敞开心胸的拒绝.
.
.
.
(MUSICstarts,withagentledance-likebeat.
)"ICANLIVEWITHTHAT"MURIELI'VEGOTSOMEPROBLEMSMYHEALTH'SNOTGOODARTHURWELLATOURAGETHAT'SUNDERSTOODMURIELI'VEGOTARTHRITISARTHUR(Indicatinghimself)FLARESUPINJUNEMURIELI'VEGOTBRONCHITISARTHURI'LLGETTHATSOONNOMATTER,ICANLIVEWITHTHATMURIELI'VEHADABYPASSARTHURWELLI'VEHADTWOMURIELIDYEMYHAIRARTHURITLOOKSNICEBLUEMURIELMYWAYSARESETARTHURWELLPEOPLECHANGEIFINDYOUSEXYMURIELIFINDYOUSTRANGEARTHURNOMATTER,ICANLIVEWITHTHATIOFTENTHINKOFTHOSEIMISSMURIELFRIENDSKEEPDYINGBUTI'VEGROWNSTRONGARTHURSOMETIMESIHAVETOREMINISCEMURIELITSTILLDOESHURTJUSTNOTASLONGMURIELMYKIDSDON'TVISITARTHURMINENEVERLEAVEMURIELIMAKEAMEATLOAFYOUWON'TBELIEVEARTHURITELLTALLTALESMURIELITELLTHETRUTHARTHURIDRINKSKIMMILKMURIELIDRINKVERMOUTHARTHURNOMATTER,ICANLIVEWITHTHAT.
MURIELILIKETHINGSCLEAN.
ISCRUBTHEWASHARTHURIGOTAGARDEN.
IGROWSOMESQUASHMURIELIKEEPINSHAPE.
IMOWTHELAWNARTHURIWAKEUPLATEMURIELI'MUPATDAWNARTHURNOMATTER,ICANLIVEWITHTHAT(MUSICALINTERLUDE.
ARTHURextendshishand,andtheydance.
)MURIELArthur,there'ssomethingIhavetotellyou.
Whenitcomesto--youknow--I'mnotthattypethatjusthopsrightintothebedlikeanacrobat.
Ittakestimewithme.
ARTHUROh-oh.
MURIELThat'saproblemARTHURDepends.
Howmuchtimeyoutalking'Causeifyou'retalkingyears,Idon'tthinkeitherofushasthatlong.
MURIELIwastalkingafewweeks.
Maybe.
ARTHURNOMATTER,ICANLIVEWITHTHATMURIELIWILLBEBURIEDATMYJIM'SRIGHTARTHURNEXTTOMYSUEISMYGRAVESITEMURIEL/ARTHURBUTI'MSTILLHEREWITHMUCHTOGIVEARTHURSOMEDAYI'LLDIEMURIELFORNOW,I'LLLIVEI'llalwayslovemyJim.
ARTHURAndI,mySue.
MURIELI-Ijustdon'tknow.
.
.
ARTHURYOUTHINKIDOMURIELNOMATTERARTHUR/MURIELICANLIVEWITHYOU.
EPILOGUE(WOMEN#1/MAN#1enter,chancing,dressedinhoodedrobesfromPrologue.
)WOMAN#1AndtheLordGodsaid:thusishowthebookofmanandwomanshallbewritten--MAN#1--endlesslycrashingintoeachother,liketwovengefulbumpercars,RomeoRomeowhereforeartthouRomeo,youplayeditforheryoucanplayitforme,mymandonedidmewrong,chicksandducksandgeesebetterscurry,Igotitbadandthatain'tgood,youmakemefeellikeanaturalwoman,shewasjust17youknowwhatImean,lovetoloveyababy.
(MAN#2/WOMAN#2enter,dressedinthehoodedrobes.
)WOMAN#2Butaboveallelse,addedtheLordGod,onetruthiseternal--MAN#2Allyegoodpeopleofearth--WOMAN#1Goforthwithjoy!
MAN#1Findsomeonetolove!
WOMAN#2Someoneyouthinkisperfect!
MAN#2Thenspendtherestofyourlifetryingtochangethem!
"ILOVEYOU,YOU'REPERFECT,NOWCHANGE"ALLKEEPCOMIN'BACKIKEEPCOMIN'BACKIKEEPCOMIN'BACKTOTHISWHIRLWINDTOUROFLOVINGANDLEAVINGANDWANTINGMOREISWEARTHATISWOREOFFOFLOVEBEFOREBUTIBUTIBUTIKEEPCOMIN'BACKSOMEHOWIKEEPCOMIN'BACKIKEEPCOMIN'BACKALLGOO-GOOEYEDIBEENTHROUGHTHERINGERANDBEENDRIP-DRIEDISAYI'MAMESSBUTISAYITWITHPRIDESOISOISOIKEEPCOMIN'BACKBABY,IKEEPCOMIN'BACKLOVE'SADELICIOUSANDVICIOUSCURSEONCEYOUHITBLISSTHENYOUHITREVERSEWELLIFLOVE'SADISEASEBABYGETMEANURSE'CAUSEI'CAUSEI'CAUSEIKEEPCOMIN'BACKIKEEPCOMIN'BACKBACKINTHISLOVESICKMESSIDIVEBACKINTHISRECKLESSJOYITHRIVEIHEREBYCONCEDEWHATINEEDTOSURVIVEISTOLOOKATYOUANDSAYILOVEYOU,ILOVEYOU,YOU'REPERFECTILOVEYOU,YOU'REPERFECT,NOWCHANGEILOVEYOU,ILOVEYOU,YOU'REPERFECTILOVEYOU,YOU'REPERFECT,NOWCHANGEILOVEYOU,ILOVEYOU,YOU'REPERFECTILOVEYOU,YOU'REPERFECT,NOWCHANGEILOVEYOU,ILOVEYOU,YOU'REPERFECTILOVEYOU,YOU'REPERFECT,NOWCHANGEILOVEYOU,YOU'REPERFECT,NOWCHANGE,CHANGE!
Hi.
Lediscours:PepsiestbienmieuxquecolaTontlemonde,quandonétaitpetit,onaimebeaucoupboirelesoda.
Enchine,surlesoda,ilyadeuxgrandsentreprises,PepsietCola.
Quandtupréparéacheterunsoda,tuvaschoisilequelle,PepsiouCola,biensrPepsi.
D'abord,iln'estpastropdoucereuxcommeCola.
Ensuit,àcausedesaemballage.
Pepsiestplusjeune,ilutilisel'effetdel'étoile,ilchoisitletruchementsqu'ilssonttrèsconnu,commeZhoujielun,Caiyilin,etc.
L'emballagenouvelle,etl'étoileconnu,lePepsipossédelecoeurdesnous.
Enfin,c'estl'evidencemêmeàmeilleurmarché.